My H & I have been through a terrible two years. Nothing really seems to be the same anymore and we seem to live such different lives. After his 2nd PA, I still feel as if there is some connection that he is denying with OW #2. I keep seeing her and I'm sick of it all. Today, I just feel like I'm too old to play games and want to be able to sleep peacefully without the nightmares and live a life where I don't worry about anything. It's been over 3 months since I found out about OW #2 and the wounds jhave re-opened since I keep seeing her at my H's football games. <P>I've asked him to go to counseling - he refuses. I go alone but I guess it's not doing me any real good. I can't seem to make the decision to leave or stay. I'm tired of all the confusion. I mean - how do you know it's time to move on and let it all go? I can see myself being alone but content, but I can't for the life of me figure out why I'm still someplace so terribly unhappy. Can someone tell me how you knew it was time to call it quits? I feel like I'm there but on the fence.<P>Vee

When the pain of staying outweighs the pain of going, that's how I decided it. I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

Nudli2 -<BR>Thanks - that's about what a friend of mine said. She just said, you'll know when you've had enough. He wants to know what happended to the "old" me. You know - the one that was carefree, now worries and 20 yrs old. Back in a time when trust was automatic. Now 5 yrs later it's now automatic and he hasn't done a good job of trying to restore it. Maybe the "old me" comes back when I leave and start all over ...

Hi Vee.<P>N2 said it all in that one sentence. Some people get there sooner than others. Some succeed and reconcile, some live with it and hope for a very long time. Each person and each relationship is different. <P>Good Luck. Stick in there. (((((Vee))))))<P>Tex.

I booted him after I found out about OW2. We had just gone through hell with him getting past his addiction with OW1. I stood beside him the whole time but he is going through MLC and is very selfish right now. So exactly 1 year to the date of me finding out about OW1 I found out about OW2 and packed his stuff and sent him to her and never let him back.<BR>They are now married so we'll see what happens there.<P>Jill<P>