Yes, the emotiocon is smiling when it rationally should be sad. But honestly, I'm not sad, no one little bit. Here's why.<BR> On Sunday in a fit of anger over this entire situation I e-mailed the OW. Back when I was still posting on the recovery board here the OW e-mailed me and actually tried starting a dialouge with me. It was profuse with apologies and all but she ended up still pursuing my husband, regardless of how sorry she might have claimed to be. <BR> Remembering this I e-mailed her and let her know the outcome of -my-situation. About an hour later I get a hysterical phone call from stbx who's yelling and screaming about how I ruined his life, how I'ma monster, a c-word and on and on. I hang up on him and find an e-mail in my box claiming that my e-mail so upset OW that she had a massive asthma attack, was in the hospital and was "hanging by a thread". He calls again, screaming, sobbing, telling me that I was trying to kill ow. He was completely incoherent, babbling over and over "she's dying". This phone call led to over 40 calls from him ending with me hanging up when he began calling me names and threatening me. <BR> Well, it seems that this is a pattern with OW, she's been "dying" whenever he defends me to her(but he won't anymore because I'm "evil")or she is reminded of me. She can start "dying" at the drop of a hat and has also been through five "suicide" attempts as well. STBX, thinks all this is perfectly normal. She maniuplates him with her health problems(asthma and allergies) and he just follows like a puppy.<BR> He also thinks it's perfectly normal that a supposed 24yr old is still told by her parents who to date(she lives at home)and doesn't know of my husband. I also heard an answering machine message from her on my answering machine telling him it was safe to come over to her house because her parents are out.<BR> This got me to thinking. 24? She is living at home, has to hide him from her parents, goes to "college" parties(college students don't call them "college" parties, they're just parties), writes him notes on "winnie the pooh" stationary complete with heart stickers.......<BR> I'm begining to think my stbx has gotten himself in a very sticky situation. I've never met ow face to face but have only seen a couple of pics, in one she is very young looking and wearing glitter eyeshadow and a dog collar.<BR> I hope this is not what I'm thinking. I hope, hope, hope that this is not what I'm thinking. I know when I made a comment about how young this girl sounded on Sunday he blew a gasket and then told me never to contact him again.<BR> *shakes head* I'm glad I'm getting as far away as possible from this situation. Their relationship sounds obsessive and geez, very shady to say the least.<BR> I wish my stbx good luck, hopefully he's not doing what I think he is. I'm washing my hands of him and this marriage, he and she are both very disturbed people and life is too short for me to involve myself with any of it.<p>[This message has been edited by Nduli2 (edited June 05, 2001).]

Oh, and the reason I know the health thing is a manipulation, my stbx forwards me an e-mail from her to him where she says hello to me because I am obviously keeping track of all their conversations and their lives from 500 miles away so she knows I'm watching.(I was tempted to e-mail her and ask her "could you move a little to the left please, you're blocking the camera She even says that and congratulates me on my abilities Mind you, it's quite possible after all I have the power to kill through e-mail:P She's in fine health though it seems and mentions going running with him later in the day, pretty miraculous for someone who was on death's door just the other night)<P>Meg *who keeps hearing a cukoo clock going off everytime she thinks of her stbx and the OW*<p>[This message has been edited by Nduli2 (edited June 05, 2001).]

Hi Meg,<P>Yes, I've had something similiar happen when the last OW told my then-H how she was afraid to go to work because I might be there to beat her up ~ she didn't get that info from me, so I guess the old man tried to scare her away that way?... who knows... <P>Anywho... poor frail thing was so worried... which seemed like the perfect time to cruise her job and let her see the car, ya know, just to remind...<P>Then, pretty fast, I got bored with the whole thing... she wasn't so afraid that she stopped boinking my then-H, so I just let the whole thing go... why waste my precious time, and I'd learned with previous OW that it didn't work even when I did confront...<P>I have asthma, and it is definately possible to be stress-induced... and it is scary... but, um... I guess she should do whatever possible to aliviate the stress... like, perhaps, leave your H alone?<P>By the by, the c-word is the one word I WILL NOT TOLERATE... not for one second!

well geez, Meg, you are a better woman than I am.<P>I woulda called her parents - and if I thought it was probably an underage situation....I'd probably have been on the phone with the cops.<P>I used to be frustrated that there wasn't anyone or anything I could do to throw a wrench into the works - so it's probably just as well.<P>I don't know how you are so calm about it all <P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

Beats me Bramblerose. I have my moments when I am chewing my nails but overall I'm trying not to let this situation bother me as much as it had been. There's no point in it, it really doesn't change things.<BR>I had thought about the cop thing but I'm not 100% sure and wouldn't do that unless I saw it with my own eyes.