Hello everyone, This is my first post. This website has been a godsend to me. About a year and a half ago after 16 years of marriage my wife told me she did not love me anymore. After I got over the initial shock I knew there had to be OM.And there was. For the next three months she saw him at work all the time telling me it was over. Finally I had enough and confronted him. He was married also and once he saw it was going to get messy he ended it.We have 2 kids and my wife said now she did love me. That didnt last long and 4 months later she moved out. At no time have I wanted a divorce and I have offered counseling, my love always but she wanted none of it. 2 months later she was back. Once again she said she loved me. I fell for it. The last 6 months she has showed me no emotion but anger. She is getting a apartment again even though I offered her the house so the kids could stay here while I stayed at my parents close by. I am so tired I just cant keep fighting for her love. I do still love her but I have no idea when she is telling the truth anymore. She says she doesnt want a divorce, She just needs to get away. I have serious doubts. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Can you guys get counseling? Even tho there aren't all that many good counselors out there (IMHO), at least it wouldn't be just between you two to fix things. Sometimes it helps to have a third non-involved person there.<P>I wish I would have drug my H (even kicking and screaming) to counseling the first time he even MENTIONED that he wasn't "all that happy with our relationship." I think it would have saved me from some heartbreak, but who knows.<P>My prayers are with you, Red62. This is a heck of a thing to have to go thru.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

<BR>Hello and Welcome to Marriage Builders!<P>First, I would like to share two links with you. Just click on the underlined links here, and read –><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi10_tour.html" TARGET=_blank>Tour of Marriage Builders</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A>. <P>Please read everything you can on this site, post and read often!! <P>I have been betrayed and betrayer, so I have the dubious honor of knowing what infidelity does from BOTH SIDES of the situation. <P>I believe in the concepts espoused here, if applied properly. One idea that has worked *wonders* for some couples is Plan A. Read about it here –><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>What Are Plan A and Plan B</A>.<P>Use what you learn here to make your marriage a safe place where you do your best to meet the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A> of your spouse,and avoid <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A> whenever possible. . When a decision must be made, use the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>POJA</A> to determine the final outcome that you can both agree upon.<P>Many couples find that counseling is VERY helpful, and the counseling provided here is excellent for several reasons; but the most important is that it goes along with the concepts here. Check it out here –> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counsel Link</A><P>Again, welcome to our community, and feel free to write often and ask lots of questions!<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

I agree with Mrs.O- drag her to counseling, let her know how important you think this marriage is. I did drag my (now) XW in, but I should have done it sooner and kept at it. Something else I should have done- don't ask her if she'll go- say "I want us to see a counseler; would Tuesday or Thursday be better for you?". I think it is easy to get discouraged- keep trying! Keep telling her you love her. Let her know that her, your family, and your marriage is of utmost importance, and that you intend to keep it that way, no matter what.<BR>Do the right thing!