BACK IN DEC. MY W OUT OF THE BLUE TOLD ME SHE DID NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE WE WENT TO SEE OUR PASTOR TO TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT. IN FEB. SHE TALKED ME INTO GOING TO A ANNIVERSE 1800 MILES AWAY, THE DAY BEFORE I CAME HOME I CALLED HER AND SHE TELLS ME OVER THE PHONE SHE WANTS TO CALL OUR MARRAGE QUITS I STILL CARE FOR HER DEEPLY (I TOLD HER THE DAY SHE FILED THAT I AM NOT MOVING OUT UNTIL THE D IS FINAL. WE HAVE 3 GIRLS AGES 10, 7, 5 AND I LOVE THEM DEARLY. I JUST DON'T WANT THEM TO GET HURT NEITHER ONE OF US ARE ABUSEIVE.<BR>THANKS

Do you suspect that your W is having an affair or a mid life crisis? Have you read any of the Harley books, especially "his needs, her needs?" It answers a lot of questions. You will probably get more answers on the GQ board.<P>I worked with an H that would not recommit, would not engage in any way to save OR end the marriage. Finally after 10 months of trying to salvage our marriage after discovery of his A, I finally am moving on. He just does not want to be the bad guy, but in a way it worked. I found the MB site early on and it helped me do all I could to save my marriage if it could be saved. It left me with peace enough to decide on divorce without the anger and hatred that so often comes of this kind of situation. <P>I think it will help us be better parents together. None of the venom I experienced between my own parents in their divorce and even now, 28 years later, it lingers between them.<BR>

She may or may not be having an affair. - I have been married 6 years and felt I was not "in Love" with my husband anymore but I was not cheating.<P>I will say this - if the problem continues - she will eventually cheat because she is lacking passion and love in her life.<P>I would suggest you sit down and ask her to tell you specifically what the problem is. I feel we fall in and out of love during marriage. The grass always seems greener on the other side and it easy to keep looking over the fence - this may be what she is doing.<P>She may be confused right now but it doesn't mean it's not salvagable with alot of work. Sounds like she has pretty much made of her mind though so you should move quickly if you want to save your marriage. Good Luck.