Hi all,<P>Well, I'm at the end of my patience. I've been collecting evidence on my wife since late last year, and from what I can tell, she's been cheating almost since day 1. With <B>lots</B> of men (like 50+). She's even started having sex for money - in our house while I'm at work. I plan on getting a private investigator so I have objective evidence from a third party.<P>My wife is in the military, which frowns on adultery, and tends to punish people for it. Then there's the prostitution thing - being illegal and all. <P>She (supposedly) is doing all this because she thinks I cheated on her. She thinks that because (1) some strange woman supposedly kept calling the house (conveniently, she never called while I was here), and (2) I left the house for 3 days last year when she threatened to have her relatives come "take care of me." She says I spent those 3 days with my "other woman." This "OW" is someone that I spent time chatting with; she helped me by watching my wife in the chat rooms while I was at work. For what it's worth, I never actually met this woman; I don't even know what she looks like. <P>I have never cheated on my wife, although there's been some times I thought I should start doing so - I'm getting punished for it, so I might as well do it. Fortunately, common sense wins out and I've never actually done anything.<P>I suppose I'm posting just to vent, but I would like to hear some advice from anybody that's willing to give it. How hard should I come down on her? She's going to make this whole thing as ugly as possible, I think; maybe having all this to hang over her head will convince her to be much nicer than normal. <P>Anyway, if anybody has any advice about stuff like this, I'd really appreciate it.<P>Thanks!<P>PS - After reading this again, I realized that I never explicitly said that I'm going to get things moving towards a divorce; there's no way (IMHO) that this can be salvaged.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Clueless1 (edited June 10, 2001).]

<B>My wife is in the military, which frowns on adultery,</B><BR>This only applies to officers, NOT enlisted.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris,<P>Well, in my 10 years in the Navy, I certainly saw several enlisted people punished for cheating, but they do tend to come down harder on the officers. <P>I failed to mention that one of the guys that "partook" of my wife is a Navy officer, so that sort of activity will earn her a little more attention from the Navy (she's enlisted active duty Navy).

Clueless1, what good is it going to do you to "come down on" your wife? If you are divorcing, why don't you just get the divorce and do your best to put this relationship behind you? These days, grounds tend to be irrelevant when it comes to dividing up income and property, so unless there are kids involved, you don't need any more evidence than is necessary to prove grounds.<BR>

GnomeDePlume,<P>Thanks for agreeing with my conscience. After cooling off, I've decided that the evidence I have will only be used if I absolutely have to - there's nothing to be gained by ruining her career.