Hello all-I haven't posted since March-I think. Just an update. First, my username used to be Trs. OW started getting REAL MEAN along with H so I changed my name, also I was getting too hooked on MB so I had to back off for my own good. I would like to give an update though and hopefully give some people encouragement. First a little background, H left me for OW November 10th and NEVER returned. I planned A from November-Febrauary thru notes and Planned B these last months. H just up and left and did not want to have ANYTHING to do with me. I have read Torn Asunder, Surviving an Affair and Private Lies. They helped tons!!! <BR>I did start counseling in December and am still in it. Monday, June 18th is our court date-same day as our 7th anniversary........<P>I just want to offer encouragement to all-YOU WILL MAKE IT !!!!!! I am a MUCH different person now. I have changed for the better. I have started work books like Love is a Choice and it is helping tremendously. I have a GREAT support system. Monday will be a hard day but I know I will make it. <BR>The good news is I have become a great person inside and out (lost 40 lbs). Even though H never returned or attempting to I will be okay. I am taking care of myself right now. Because he up and left I have all the household items also, the fog is so thick that he just left EVERYTHING...I did have him move stuff out in April but he got mad because I made him do this and still left stuff. <BR>OW had been nasty thru this and sends me notes and accusses me of things, I ignore her and H when they do thid. They are not worth the time.<P>If I can make it this far ANYONE can!!!! Hang in there folks.<P>Hugs to all my friends and support I have had here these last 8 months!!!!<P>

That's great, you succeeded,<BR>How, how, how ?????<P>You sound so good. I am ashamed, during last 1.5 years I haven't become a better person, just opposite, I became horrible woman and , unfortunately , mother. <BR>I don't know why, but I can't resist to be sad all the time, cry a lot, even abusive to my daughters and they are the best kids in the world (see my today's post). <BR>H used to be the best husband and father and I miss him so much , it pains even more with every new day we are separated, I am so afraid of a divorce (in a few days).<BR>I am PhD, [censored] Prof but I feel like a full, neither academic degree can help me in such a lonely life.<BR>I am full of fears, of loneliness, how to manage with financial things , with YD , with my old parents, everything on my own (I have no brothers, sisters, nephews..). I was always afraid to be alone and now I am left.<BR>What helped you to come out of the "sand"??<BR>I am an atheist so I do not know how to pray, but I tried even that<P>Need advice from you. Thanks<BR>D

((((((((Betrayed)))))))),<P>First let me say that it is not all easy I do have my down days. Some of the steps I have followed can be done by other people but they do not have to be followed exactly. I too have no family. My parents know I am getting a divorce but they do not care and never have. They literally kicked me out of their lives at 16 yrs old and I have been on my own since. My H and I met while we were both in the service. We both got out and he brought me back to his small home town. We have lived here for 3 yrs. Talk about being abandoned!!! I do not know what I would have done if we had children also. For some odd reason I have always been spiritual and this has helped but I see you are not and I do not want to force spirituality unto you. I want to help you not have you run away from me. Counseling has helped TONS!!! My H's insurance pays for it. I also am on anti depressants-they help TONS also. I read tons of books. (This will be my only speal to you on Christianity)There are none phony Christians out there that have taught me how much God does love me. I believe if you reach out to some of them they may even help and teach you how to love your children like God loves us. If your want to hear more please reach out to me , I am here and I will help you and if you want advice without spiritual stuff I am still here!!! My thoughts are with you and your children!!