I guess it all started about a month or two ago. My spouse has always been distrusting of me, called me alot at work and checking my tracks. It did not really bother me about the checking because I have been 100% faithful, but always bothered me that she could not trust. Well amonth ago she started asking what I thought about getting a divorce for finace reasons. I let her know I did not want to do that - I thought this was really strange. Turns out she has been spending her time with another man - just friends she says. I am so hurt! I asked her if she still wanted a divorce and she said she wants to think about She is gone with him all the time, stays over at his house - I suspect. We have two children, been married 9 years, I love her more than anything and do not want a divorce. I read the plana planb and have already been doing planA, but feel as if I need to do more!

<BR>Hello and Welcome to Marriage Builders!<P>First, I would like to share two links with you. Just click on the underlined links here, and read –><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi10_tour.html" TARGET=_blank>Tour of Marriage Builders</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A>. <P>Please read everything you can on this site, post and read often!! <P>I have been betrayed and betrayer, so I have the dubious honor of knowing what infidelity does from BOTH SIDES of the situation. <P>I believe in the concepts espoused here, if applied properly. One idea that has worked *wonders* for some couples is Plan A. Read about it here –><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>What Are Plan A and Plan B</A>.<P>Use what you learn here to make your marriage a safe place where you do your best to meet the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A> of your spouse,and avoid <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A> whenever possible. . When a decision must be made, use the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>POJA</A> to determine the final outcome that you can both agree upon.<P>Many couples find that counseling is VERY helpful, and the counseling provided here is excellent for several reasons; but the most important is that it goes along with the concepts here. Check it out here –> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counsel Link</A><P>Again, welcome to our community, and feel free to write often and ask lots of questions!<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Hi there Confused!<P>I only have one thing to add to Sheryl's great advice, and that is that you run, don't walk, to Barnes and Noble or your local bookstore and pick up a copy of Surviving an Affair by Dr. Harley. <P>So much of it will make your confusion less...it explains so much!! After that, come back here, and check in over on the General Questions board, there are lots of folks over there going through the same thing.<P>((((hugs))))<P>--BR<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>