Hi to all my old friends!<BR>I see some of you have moved over here. It's not really where any of us ever expected to be ...is it? Anyway...I just posted my update over in GQII and I won't go into details here. Just wanted you all to know that I think about all of you often. Thank the lord that you all were here to help when I really needed you and wish you all the happiness you deserve. <P>As of 11:30 today, my final hearing will be over and 14 days later this mess should all be over. I have the gamut of emotions running through me...sadness, relief, frustration...<P>The best part of this is knowing that I gave my best...it wasn't enough for her, but I don't know if anything is right now. I am certainly finding it easier to smile these days, and the time that I am happy is now more than the time that I am sad. Time does wonderous things to help you get over pain.<P>I hope you all are well and doing what you need to do to take care of yourselves...one of the most important pieces of information that I ever received. All of you deserve the best.<P>Mike <P>------------------<BR>the probability of someone watching you...is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions

Mike, don't remember if I ever posted to you before, but I often read your post on GQII. I'm also over here now, unhappily. <P>I hope the sense of relief continues to grow as you start your new life.<P>Don't know what else to say, but will be thinking about you today.

Be proud that you did your best. I hope for you that you find the happiness that you deserve. <P>Keep us updated on your recovery process. It helps those of us who are still a few steps behind find some solice.<P>Take Care.

Hi Mike,<P>I remember your first post over on GQ some months ago. I'm sorry to hear that your wife didn't wake up before getting her divorce.<P>Keep coming back, there's great support over here! <P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

Well, Mike, I guess your W never put that WS Handbook down, did she? <P>Sorry to see you're on this part of the forums. I've been officially divorced for almost five months now. <P>I wish I had something better to say than "it gets better," but I don't, really. I'm just glad to see you're learning from the experience. I look at myself as a little older, a little wiser, and hopefully better prepared to deal with the next one...whenever that happens!<P>I know we went through some of the exact same feelings. You're probably gonna go through some of the same things I've been through since the divorce. If you ever need to talk, I check in here everyday.<P>cj<BR>

Hi Everyone...<BR>I was under the assumption that the final judgement would not be official until 14 days after the hearing. My lawyer tells me that because we both waved appeal rights, that it became official when the hearing was over. So...I am now a single man.<P>Now let me tell you the grand finale. On my way home from work yesterday, I had a voice mail from my "Lovely" ex. I find it hard to say that ya know! Anyway...for the last 8 months she has not wanted me to help her with anything. Everytime I have offered, I have met with huge resistance.<P>The voicemail said that her car was broken down and she needed my help because there was "no-one" else around. Being the nice guy that I am I called her because she had the kids, and I didn't want them to be stranded. So I called AAA and they came and got her car started. It needed to go in the shop over night. She proceeded to ask if she could "hang" out at my house until she could get a ride. Any other day I probably would not have cared...but Divorce day was not the best timing.<P>I left her with the kids and went to run some errands, when I came home...dinner was cooking! I said "what the f&*% do you think you are doing"? "You need to leave".<P>She said I can't, I don't have a ride. Can I borrow yur car? OMG...this woman has no concept of how I felt about having to sign those final papers. She treated yesterday as if it was just another day. Very sad to think that 10 years of marriage meant that much to her. No...I'm sorry this happened...no ...I'm sorry that I hurt you...just...CAN I BORROW YOUR CAR!!<P>LST~ thanks for the kind words. It is always a relief to see how compassionate people are on this board.<P>Hopeless~ The only thing we all can do is do our best. Unfortunately we are victims of somebody elses decisions. If they don't want to cooperate then we are helpless. Maybe now that this mess is over...I won't be on such a roller coaster ride and can start to move on with my life.<P>BR~ it's hard for a self centered person, who only cares about what they want to ever wake up. I am sure that at some point in time...she will get what she deserves. You are one of the people who was around when I first came to this board. It's amazing how much you can grow in such a short period of time. I am older, wiser, a lot more grey hair, and a bit more cautious now. I am not going to let her choices affect how I live my life! ...my new motto..."work like you don't need the money, love like you have never been hurt, dance like nobodys watching! Thank you my friend.<P>C-Jack~ We have followed the same road. I am just a little ways behind you. I still think she carries the book as a bible! I am sure that it is not going to be an easy trek down this road. I can not just eraase her from my life. Our two children are still very young. What I can do though...is not get sucked in by her and let her have her wish. She wanted to be an independant women...she can have it. I know what it takes to have a good relationship now. I feel like I am much more prepared for the next one. We shall see what happens.<P>Take care all!<BR>Mike<P><P>------------------<BR>the probability of someone watching you...is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions

mbtrk,<P>Your ex and my STBX wander around in that same fog. For her to ask to stay at your house on the very day your divorce became final is just wierd!!!<P>They are on such a different wave length. The don't care who I hurt in order to get what I want frequency. <P>Sometimes I wonder if I ever saw even the smallest bit of sadness or remorse from my STBX for all this crap he put me through would it help me feel less hurt? Perhaps not and it probably won't happen anyway.<P>Hope you have a better day ahead.<P>Take Care