Everything is moving so fast. I would have never expected my wife to want to get a divorce. I have my problems with alcohol, and she said that I pushed her away to much, that she can't do this anymore. We have been together for five years, July 3rd would be our second wedding anniversery. We have no kids, thank God, but she says that she want's a divorce. I told her with all sincerity that I would never taste alcohol again, and that I would get some counceling, but that is helping. I also told her that we need marital counseling as well. She responds saying that she has nothing to be counciled on. It has been 11 days since I made my last mistake with alcohol. We went out drinking on Saturday, and I told her that I wanted to stay out and "party" longer. She saw this as me choosing something over her. My wife is really a wonderful, caring, considerate person and I am willing to do whatever it takes, but she seems pretty set in her ways of a divorce already. 11 days after Saturday, she has already taken her portion of the money that we have saved. We were supposed to be moving into a new house, sometime next month. Yes we are having a house built and now she wants to have the house for herself. She qualified, but I have the final say on wether she get to purchase this house and live there with our dog. If I don't sign myself out of the contract, she can't purchase the house by herself. What do I do. If she does divorce me for good, 11 days after Saturday remind you, I don't want her to have the house. The thought of her living there with another man, just destroys me. I want to save this marriage, and have already started AA. I have asked my wife just to give me a half an hour with her, to have dinner and discuss everthing, but she says that there is nothing to talk about. The reason that I don't want her to get the house by herself, is because we both made sacrifices to get the house, and we entered the contract together, so the only she will be living there is if its with her husband. I feel terrible, and miss her more than I can even express. I can't eat or sleep or go two minutes without thinking about my situation

Rick, congratulations on AA. I hope you stick with it!<P>You might want to consult an attorney...<P>BUT, you might want to decide which is more important...the house or your marriage? Which is more important, vengenance or your marriage?<P>You can do marriage counseling all by yourself - why not give Steve Harley a call? He'll probably have some great advice and direction for you - and help you formulate a plan to give saving your marriage your best shot.<P>Good luck.<P>--BR<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

Dear rik, I don't often reply to posts, or post myself, But I feel compelled to talk too you. My husband sounds similar to you in some respects. And I can assure you that I know how your wife feels. We rarely go out together, h and I, because he can never come home, and I usually end up coming home alone while he stays to drink. And it hurts a lot. It really does feel as though you are choosing your mates and drink over us. If you look at my post above yours too bramble rose you may see some similarities too your situation, but from the female perspective. Hopefully, you won't see many similarities, I hope for both of your sakes that things aren't as bad for you as they are for me!! <P>The only advise I have for you is too do something about it, show her, prove to her that you mean what you say. She will find it difficult to beleive you are sincere if you have promised these things before.<P>Good luck, and good on you, I am proud of you for addressing the issue and going to AA!!!