My wife and I have gone through a considerable episode in the last 2 months or more. Basically she feels like my baby sitter and that I'm controlling her through the kids and yelling to get what I want. Granted I feel that I've yelled when I shouldn't have and that I haven't given her the chance to be free of the kids enough. Recently she received an email from an "ex". We argued pretty good about her going to see him. She said they were just friends, I would say but you had sex and a relationship so he is an ex. Well we had a particularly bad argument one evening and I snapped at her the next morning. She said she was going to the mall, but she lied and went to talk to him to get things off her chest, short story is, he was having problems with his g/f of 4 years, we were arguing about him and other things and they had a closed mouth kissing to end their visit. She eventually admitted to me the meeting after I asked. We have talked a great deal over the next few days to realize that I pushed her away, and she was wrong to lie to me and kiss him. We have basically talked this through and agree that each other knows what the other needs to make the marriage recover, and we both believe we are sincere. We have moved on, make love 3 or 4 times a week(sometimes more) and have forgiven one another. however the counseling session we arranged(when we thought we could break up) is coming and even though we have apologized and agree to make better efforts, it still hurts us both to talk about things, I know that the hurt we have done to one another will fade, but does it do anygood to continue to bring it to the surface if we have both agreed that we were wrong in areas and that we want to move on and have rededicated ourselves to making things work and having a good marriage? Will talking and bringing it all up again help put in the past or just keep it from fading as the darkest months of our marriage?