Hello LWM,<P>YOU made my day. It is midnight of the 15th. I just sat down at the computer to check my e-mail. Then, I thought:<BR>should I go into MB to check the posts. I am so tired and mentally exhausted...I have said all I can say and I have done all I can do...No one can bring my H home except him...<P>Then, my next thought was let me check the forum. And the first post was for Me! I couldn't believe it. I thought:<BR>someone has something to say directly to me. And then I checked to see the message and it was from you regarding what happened in court today. You are so very thoughtful to inquire about the situation. <P>It was a long six hour ordeal. I dreaded every second of the hearing and I tried to appear cool as a cumcumber and very calm and show no anger. I did not let any accusations against me upset me or rattle me. I know the truth stands the test of time, and lies are eventually exposed.<P>I am not sure what you know about my situation; you obviously have been reading my posts so you know I was going to court on the 15th. <P>My husband is still in his foggish and alcoholic state.<BR>He is money hungry and has no morals or shame. He admitted that he has not see our 3 children any sigificant amount of quality or quantity time. He admitted to forging my name to the two amended tax forms and the two tax refunds checks.<BR>He admitted to living with the ow and housing her child.<BR>He reluctantly admitted to defying the court ordered judgment and not paying me for months or reporting his employer to the child suppport office. He admitted that if <BR>our daughter didn't want to see him, it was her issue. <BR>He admitted that he had come to our town many times and did not make any effort to come and see us.<P>I asked for sole legal and physical custody due to the fact that since he abandoned our domicile 14 months ago, I have actually had sole legal/phy custody. WE have taken a back seat to his new life and I have had to mangage in all areas as a single parent. I asked for supervised visitation based on his alcohol abuse because of dwi arrests...and criminal background of ow (2 dwi convictions)....and spousal suppport which I don't expect to receive.<P>At this point, I just don't care any more. Caring has gotten me no where except mental anguish..physical exhaustion and emotional devastation. <P>When (not if) that affair ends, he will have no where to go<BR>except here. I feel very confident. I saw the defiance in him. He does not see the path of destruction he is on becuase he can't see the forest for trees.<P>Out of all the testimony he anwered today, I heard one statement that offered me one small ray of hope that one day he will reach the end of his rope and I will be the last one hanging thread he can reach for...<P> The attorney asked him if he thought that I am<BR>hostile towards him and he replied, "No". Perhaps I am making a mistake to hang onto that but, I know that if in his mind and heart, he does not perceive me as hostile towards him, that provides me with a place to build on.<P> The issues will be decided by the judge based on what she heard today. I hope I maintained my composure enough to convinvce her and convey to her that I am the parent who, in the best interest of our children, should be awarded sole custody.<P> AS for the finality of what my H wants, I told my attorney that when the final paper comes, I do not wnt to go back to court to hear it. I don't want to even read it.<BR>when it comes, I will be very tempted to detroy the paper.<P> I have been told by so many not to fight the legal paper divorce. Minimize the emotional divorce and that is my goal.. If there is ever a chance he will hit rock bottom and start looking up, perhaps, it will be his memory taht I did not overly react (even though I am devastated) to him.<BR>I just took it with minimal distress from his viewpoint.<P>What ever happens, I know that the person out there is not the person I would want back in our lives. And for him to ever want to be a part of our lives again, he would have to undergo some major transformations. Only time will tell...<P>I am tired. Thanks for your interest; I have read so many posts taht I can't remember you exact situation. Keep me posted. elo
