Dr. Harley,<P>My wife does not work outside of the house. The problem is that she spends more time with her mother than she does with me. She also does not do the housework or even pick up after herself half the time. Most of her recreational time is spent with either her mother or her sister. I have tried to talk to her but she just gets angry and shifts blame to me. I wouldn't mind so much that she spends time with her mother if she didn't neglect me and her responsibilities. She also isn't interested in sex and has developed a belief that this is normal for a women her age. She is 37. Please help!<BR> MW<BR>

Dear Mark,<P>I realize your question is directed to Dr. Harley, however, I am 43 years old and would like to first address the issue of sex in a marriage. I do not believe that no sex at any age in a marriage is normal unless there are medical reasons (which there are still ways around certain problems). I found myself feeling the same way your wife does until my husband began helping me and being very patient. My h spent alot of time making me feel beautiful and loved.Are you doing what you should? Try different things, ask your wife what she likes. Work on the marriage and sex first, then address the housework and other problems. I think if you and your wife would become closer maybe the other problems would work themself out.Please remember men and women are different and have different needs. You seem to feel that housework is important but maybe she doesn't. Her days are filled with mother and sister and not you, why? Do you suggest things she likes to do?<BR>More information would be helpful.