This is for anyone who can help me. <BR>My husband has had 2 affairs in the 19 years we have been married. After the first time we reconciled, but five years later had did it again. This time he had an affair with a married women at my church. She was so bold as to tell me that she is suppose to know what is going on with him. He took our money paid her bills, brought a new car, paid for his apartment and did not come back. I lost my home and had to go live with relatives. As a result 2 families (with children) has been destroyed. I believe that they are still seeing each other, but are trying to hide. He wanted a divorce, so I filed. After not hearing from him for 2 months, he called and wanted me to come over to his home. He wanted to see the kids. When it is just the two of us, he acts like he still loves me and cares for me. When we are in a crowd, he acts as if I am not there. I took my vows very seriouly when I stood before God. I love him, but he has taken me through alot and has hurt me and my children. I wonder what is going on with him. I would like someone to tell me how a person can throw away their family? and How can he trust someone that has not stood by him through the bad and difficult times?

First of all, welcome, sorry to see you here. It sounds like you've endured a lot.<P>I don't have any great words of wisdom. My wife was similar in that when we were alone she'd show love but publicaly I was a thorn in her foot.<P>How old are your children?<P>Right now, make sure that you take care of yourself through out this process. It's real easy to neglect your needs when you step onto this roller coaster. <P>You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-