No contact since he left 7 weeks ago - except through a friend who wants US to get counseling - H went to see the counselor but didn't seem to have any interest in seeing me that day - - - he did indicate that he would like to meet with me and the counselor later...<P>My problem is that there are bills he needs to take care of - and he's wrecked the pick-up which is still in both of our names, making it unsafe to drive - yet he's still driving it. There is insurance that needs to be taken care of - and several other matters that are just hanging out there. He was impossible to deal with on these matters married - and he's obviously living in the land of DeNial now. How do I find solutions to these situations if he won't even contact me or return a phone call?<P>If he would just sign the papers I would take care of the problem - I'd gladly even sign off of his truck - but he needs to sign off of my vehicle too - so I can take care of problems with mine - without having to contact him.<P>We have four kids - he's not seen them since he left either - nor is he paying any kind of support or financial help. I don't need that -but I do need his cooperation to get things settled. <P>Any ideas or suggestions?<BR>

I understand totally how you feel. It is like being in limbo, because he is not taking care of anything nor giving you any support. <P>You might want to talk to a attorney about support. I believe you can file legal separation and obtain support.

Chances are he will find seeing you very painful. He's not terribly likely to do anything without it being pre-digested and spoon-fed, complete with detailed (but not disrespectful) explanations. <P>If you can't see him, the answer is to use someone who can. And using your children sure isn't the way to do this. My guess is that the trusted friend could take documents to him, complete with <I>"sign-here"</I> tabs and highlighting on the signature lines. Hand him a pen. Watch him sign. Collect the documents and bring them back to you. <P>If you need more, you'll need to create a form for fill-in-the blanks answering. The idea is to leave nothing to chance or misinterpretation.<P>I know my XW took her time about a lot of things and completely bollixed things that I sent over with even the tiniest detail not spelled-out. Whether on purpose, or by design, that was what happened. The friend's presence should alleviate that.

Sisyphus -<P>Thanks for the idea - I will see what I can do about finding someone to do that. I really hope he finds someone to replace me who is as non-communicative as he is. No sense in him driving another sane person CRAZY. Sorry - I'm not being mean to him - but rather hoping to save any other sane people out there from torment.<P>THanks again!!! Jan