I have posted on here many times regarding the very little sex in our marriage. I have also posted regarding my husbands seemingly (I thought) unusual attention to a young girl working for us last winter. He was always very cordial around her but seemed to act like an embarrased young guy around her. He and his daughter were inseperable when he and I met and his and her attention with each other seemed odd to me. I have brothers with daughters and grand daughters and never saw this behavior out of any of them. I guess I would describe it is constant talking and touching (not in a sexual way) but touching. The daughter was 15 at the time. My mother was 86 at the time and she thought their behavior was odd at times. Anyway, things got stronger between he and I and we finally married but now that I think about it he and his daughter kinda grew apart. She lived with her mom then and was growing up. Then her and her dad really had a couple of BIG fights. He missed seeing her for her senior prom, and even her high school graduation because they were feuding. I found this behavior to be ridiculous also. Now they have made up, she is getting married in July (she's 19 now) and they are yaking non stop. When we go out with her and her fiance, he and I hardly get a world in edgewise. Oh yeah, the conversation is HER wedding plans, and the things her and her dad used to do together, the people they knew, the boy hardly gets to say anything, and the other night he wanted to go sit with her while her fiance played ball. We were at the gym for our normal workout and he wanted to leave early to be on time. I still had 3 more machines to work out on (my normal schedule) I said I will only be a few more minutes. He said he would take his shower and if I wasn't done with my shower and downstairs by the time he was he would leave anyway. I said go ahead if that's the way you want to be. I was only about 3 blocks from my car. Nevertheless, he waited on me but I don't understand the passion. My counselor says he has an imature actions around young girls, even his own daughter. I just want us all to be family but I don't want to be an outsider when we are all together. I know this is hard to explain in these few words (or MANY WORDS) may be more accurate. Any ideas.<BR>didi

I had (what I thought was) an issue like this with my guy and his child; they were very close, I felt like an outsider and struggled with feelings of jealousy... Many thought I was crazy (or at least immature and insecure) to feel jealous of a child, but I felt it was justified... That has passed and he's now very close to ANOTHER child, so I assume these are stages in the kids' development, but your situation seems to be ongoing... It's hard for childless people (are you one?) to understand the parental bond and also hard to distinguish between normal parental love and an excessive/unhealthy attachment or involvement... Maybe it all seems unnecessary to us!! Can't shed any light there; just want you to know others have been in your shoes and you're not crazy to feel the way you do... I think jealousy's pretty common (or can be) in step-situations. What's your husband's response when you confront him with the problem this is causing in your marriage?

I haven't confronted him in the last few months since the situation has been going on this time. I think I will try to point out that the times for the past are for memories and the NOW time is the NOW time and the NOW time includes me and her fiance. It is ok for my h and his daughter to have private time when they can arrange it, but it is not ok to have private time when her fiance and I are around. It's just another indicator of the NOW time. Also the now time is the beginning of new families and lets make it as family cozy as possible. It will only be strained at first if everyone will just try to put everyone else at ease. Yes, I have 2 grown, unmarried children. I have never told my h that 1 time my son (age 23) said "mom I want to take just you out for your birthday." I said "son, you and I can go out to eat sometime alone and that's ok but for birthday's don't for get I have a spouse now and he is included. My daughter lives in another state (age 29) and wanted me to come visit without my h. Again I told her I could come for a quicky if she wanted something in particular but if she wanted any kind of vacation type thing my h would come along. Sometimes it's difficult for kids to accept the new relationship and sometime parents let them get away with it. Kind of like love me (at least tolerate) and be cordial to my dog.<BR>Thanks for responding.<BR>didi