Long time no writing!!<P>I have been fortunate to get full time work lately, for those of you who dont remember I am an "agency nurse", working anywhere and everywhere when other facilities dont have adequate staffing. So, I havent been around latley. I occasionally lurk, but am dismayed at what I am seeing. Used to be old timers would respond to our 'new family members', with wonderfull sound MB advice. Now, as Br pointed out, I see alot of personal opinions being casually thrown around. You see, BR was right when she said that you all "kicked me butt over to recovery". I know to the new guys that LB's, love banks, plan A, EN may sound corny as hell. It did to me. But, it makes a hell of alot of sense. Besides, if we ALL knew it ALL, why are we here in the first place? It all comes down to hindsight, and sharing correspondence with those in need BASED on MB PRINCIPLES. Not our own principles.<P>Ok, enough already, off my soapbox.<P>Please, if you are new here.....LISTEN.<P>READ the material by the HARLEY'S.<P>ABSORB IT ALL.<P>When I first came here too many peoples standards we were doomed. I screwed around with his best friend, came from an extremely neglectfull alcoholic family and never trusted my H with my heart. I WAS THE WS FOR YEARS. Never felt worth of his love.<P>Fast forward to Jan. Divorce was immminent. Nothing would soften his heart. Nope nada nilch. Ideations of suicide came frequently. Rock bottom I hit. For which I am gratefull, as thats what it takes to change.<P>Fast forward five months. Five months of praying, living here at this site, and plan A'ing my hinny off.<P>Decided to leave to home, in TX. On june 1st he broke up with OW after OW H called me and told Ow is following us. (H called me and told me she was coming after rick, he was coming to be closer to kids, not me) It was too fatal attraction like for him, for her to leave her H and kids for him. W/o telling him. <P>OK, so I've briefed everyone new on my history. <P>Latest developments...<P>H doesnt wat to go to TX. I was dead set on it. He, after five months of plan a'ing, coming here everyday, asked for another chance. With me. Dropped OW.<P>I was still set on moving, thinking it would be easier for us to be near family, do counseling time alone etc.<P>But he really didnt want to go.<P>And I really didnt want to be the same ole me. Controlling, manipulative etc. <P>As much as I wanted to go, for us and the kids, even put the house up for rent, put in transfer papers to job.<P>Decided a couple days ago to stay. I think it will be harder on us. But I so desperately want to show him how I've changed. <P>And told him this. How fearful I am to lose this oppurtunilty to go at minimal cost, only to be left again.<P>He asked me today, in a passionate embrace, if I would be his wife.<P>My heart hit the floor.<P>WE all need success stories to keep us motivated.<P>Keep up the Mb principles. Keep up the honest advice. <P>It works.<P>Dara<P><p>[This message has been edited by Learning as I go (edited June 22, 2001).]

Well... Miss Dara... <P>Nice to see you, sweetheart!!!!<P>My god, you made me cry again... look at you, Dara, look AT YOU!! I am so happy for you!<P>(((((Dara and H)))))<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

I'm with Sheryl... my heart is just so touched by this. I would NEVER have believed you could change so much in so short a time. Praise God! I truly NEVER thought you'd agree to STAY either... like so many of us were encouraging you to think through a month or more ago! And now this... I'm so thrilled for you... there's still a LOT of work to be done, so don't quit now. To make the changes sustainable you need to be on top of things. So, you have one child right? How is s/he coping with all of this... <P>I'm so glad you wrote as I've been watching and looking for you for quite some time now... <P>Have a GREAT day and thanks for keeping us posted... Oh, how I wish I could join you in recovery. 'twas not meant to be for me, I guess. But, I'm thrilled for you... now you can really enjoy it when he does bring you that cappucino in the morning without wondering...<P>God is good. Peace at last.<P>Take care friend,<BR>Nicole<P>------------------<BR><I>As iron sharpens iron, so does one wo/man sharpen another...</I> Prov 27:17

Richard and Dara sittin in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.<P>Horay!!!!!<P>Great news and it couldn't of happened to a more deserving person. Now grab that man and ride off into the sunset.<P>Many thoughts and prayers your way.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

This is such great news...<P>So, I'm just wondering, is there a place where people can post "updates" about themselves - like a profile that has space for a one line update and a date so people can track stories and where the person may be posting now - well search can tell that one.<P>Anyway, there are others who are no longer here... and like you Bill, I'd like to know what's happening with you. I wish we could upload a photo and a diary page or something like that. THEN use these boards to discuss questions. Currently, we use these boards to update and to discuss... I tend to get lost and have a hard time organizing all this in my head!<P>Ok, well I posted here because this is one story that should be UPDATED somewhere permanently! Oh, and Bill, loved that little ditty... haven't heard that in yet years and it made me smile - <P>Cheers!<P>------------------<BR><I>As iron sharpens iron, so does one wo/man sharpen another...</I> Prov 27:17

Dara,<P>I have been out of town for a week or so. I simply wanted to say "Congratulations". You have come a long way and so has your H.<P>Keep posting and keep learning Dara. You have been indeed <BR>"Learning as 'you' go", but you have been learning well.<P>I truely hope you and Rick take the time to talk and heal. Learn how to please each other, and mostly learn how to love each other.<P>God Bless,<P>JL