Very good question. My ex and I have tried maintaining a fairly decent relationship; however, he has a drinking problem that would need to be solved first. Even if he told me it was under control I would doubt him because everything that has come out of his mouth for so long has been lies, particularly about the drinking. I still wonder about the turmoil it would cause if my ex were to come back. I know it would take an amazing, almost impossible amount of counseling, and I wonder if he is worth it. I married him and promised him my life, so I wonder if I would out of honor. Starting fresh with someone else seems easier, doesn't it? Seems less like work and more like pl easure. Unfortunate that we would ever see pleasing and loving and living with our spouses as work, but they have made it impossible to look at it any other way at this point.<P>My situation involved an EA, alcohol abuse, and major trust and financial issues. These are biggies. It scares me to think that I would put myself through that again. Someone asked me once if I would let my daughter (fictional one) date my ex. I said not in a million years. She said "Well then, why would you want him in your life?" Well, I married him, I had said. I took a vow that no matter what, I would stay with him. But after betrayal, divorce, and hurt like this, you have to look at the person as if he/she is someone new. Because you would be going through the whole mess all over again. I would never date my husband if I met him today. At least not the man he is now. I have to question why I would ever want to reconcile with a man who shared none of my values. I would never want to raise a child with him.
