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legal meeting between lawyers tomorrow.<P>I have been severed from an executive position, and am in temporary retirement ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif) <P>Money is a big issue here, from X's viewpoint ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/rolleyes.gif) <BR>lets just say, when we mediated, she agreed with me getting 51% and she 49% of total. Now her lawyer wants to change and challenge everything. including reduce parenting time, and increase money.. . . . .<P>Anyway, the question is <B> how should i dress? </B><P>I can go in a business suit, which could cause X to see control issues by perceived power, <BR>OR<BR>casual, which could cause her resentment that i am not working and being responsible.<P>I really don't know which would be less antagonistic. . . <BR>any suggestions??
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Joined: Jun 2001
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I would say- dress in "business casual"- you know- Tan pants and a polo shirt or Navy or Black pants- nothing too business like- but NO JEANS OR SHORTS- ya know? That way you will look nice, professional, well groomed and calm....<P>Just my humble opinion (from the female perspective)<P>Good Luck!<BR>TLFM
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Joined: Jul 2000
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<BR>Be yourself over all other considerations.<P>My STBX showed up at the Conciliation in a suit. His mommy must have bought it for him because he's never owned one in his life. He's a shop rat, not an executive ... and it was NOT flattering!! He looked as uncomfortable in it as it looked out of place on him. This man has worn something other than a black 'concert' tee shirt and jeans perhaps five times in the years I've known him. To him, getting dressed up was wearing the least-faded of the black tees and his cleanest jeans, or at least the ones with the fewest holes. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/shocked.gif) <P>I wore a business casual outfit that I would wear to work on any given day and felt at ease. I was relaxed and he was a wreck.
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Jacket yes, tie no. Something between "business casual" and the "power suit".
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As background, my X has run away from me to a maintenance worker from the school where she works.<P>business suit is out, my normal shorts and tee shirt is out, <BR>the consensus is:<P>business casual<BR>a combination that the X has liked in the past:<BR> grey slacks, and pink button down shirt<BR>no jacket, (its summer and i either wore a suit, or slacks and a good shirt with a tie to work)<BR>no tie,<BR>no sneakers,<BR>clean shaven<P>any other suggestions?
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WIFTT,<P>A little dab of cologne? Just a touch! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif) <P>L.
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Sounds like you have it down now!<P>Good luck!
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WhenIfindthetime:<BR><B>As background, my X has run away from me to a maintenance worker from the school where she works.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>And my ex is a maintenance worker from the school... what state are you in??? ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) We could be ex-sorta-wanna-notreally-kinda-related!!!!!<P>As for the dress: business casual in cool colors... cool is the word of the day!<BR>
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WhenIfindthetime:<BR><B>any other suggestions?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Light summer floral frock, tasteful pastel pumps, Carmen Miranda headpiece, steady left eye twitch.<P>If you can't get cooperation, breed fear.<P> <BR>
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I have two conflicting feeling here.<P>1) I really like the idea of a Max Klinger Couture creation might be really effective.<P>2) Maybe the maintenance worker look might go over well and score brownie points with stbx. Might overwhelm her with kindness and generosity and she might forget about what she's there for. You know, have a brain cramp and decide to go away quietly.
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Tropical wool slacks, white button down shirt( open collar) and a tweed jacket....<P>Don't forget to shine your Bass Weeguns <P>Bill
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Personally, I vote for the tuxedo. If not that, I say "different types of where-a-day coats, pants with stripes, and cut away cloaks" or possibly "old tab collars...Beau Brummel, baby--and a bright orange pair of pants." <P>All kidding aside, wear something that is classic and classy, like you, that you would be comfortable in. You seem like a fairly business-like kind of guy, so I suspect you're sorta comfortable in a business suit. I say go with it. BTW, project the image that YOU want to project and the power or casualness that YOU want--not what the X perceives. Be who you are--even in your clothes--and then if she has a tailspin or interprets it wrong that's her problem.<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
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