Well i seem to be feeling a little better...naturally time heals. But i have my moments. I dont feel the need to drive by my exwifes apartment as much as i did, but sometimes i get "curious" so i drive by.<BR>The worse part is when you remember a pattern that they followed, and now it seems like they are not doing that.<BR>My ex always worked nights, so in the morning her bedroom blinds would be closed, now in the morning her blinds are wide open.<BR>So the paranoid part of me starts thinking that she has been over at the other mans house and just got home.<BR>I know that is stupid..but believe me i am actually not as worried about it as i use to be.<BR>It is hard to be with someone for so long and know everything about their day(well almost everything). then you are not with them and you really dont know what it going on in their life... i will almost drive you crazy if you let it.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Good post, BioMan. I know...I know. MY XW lives a block away, and I have to go out of my way to avoid going by her place, but it is ALWAYS better when I do. One difficult thing I have realized is that I am not 'allowed' to know what she is doing. That's pure plan B, BTW. How detatched are we when we do that? How much peace has it brought?<P>It does no good to imagine the worst, or the best. Reality for me is closer to the worst, so my imagination is best left out of it. They are a non-entity to me, just as if they were strangers. That's is the only bit of peace my ruminating has come up with, and I'll take it!<P>Take care, BioMan, and realize that this is not about you anymore, its about her.

My ex has moved to two different apartments since leaving our home a year ago. Even though I’ve known where both of these apartments are located, I’m not accustomed to the “drive by” scenario myself. The thought has crossed my mind from time, thinking that I would catch a glimpse of something, but at the same time, it just doesn’t matter. I was always afraid that I would see something that I wasn’t ready to see or worse, I wouldn’t see anything which would make me all the more curious. I really did not want to subject myself to that.<P>I have stayed away from her home and she has stayed away from mine. We have allowed one another total privacy and I have been happy with that.<BR>

The one thing I have realized is the only person that can hurt me is myself, everytime I drove by or called. It only caused me more pain and kept me connected some hoe. I learned that I had to stop doing these things for my own peace accept what happened and move on. I still keep an open mind and I am willing to listen if or when she decides to contact me, but for now I have stopped hurting myself.<P>