It might be worth it, but then again it might not be. So hard to be objective when you're personally involved, I know. I consulted a myriad of experts, friends, and family because 1) I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing, and 2) I couldn't let go. Back and forth we went, just like you said. He ended it for me, and was a real schmuck about it. Emailed me a "Dear Jane" letter like we'd been going steady for 14 years instead of married! Then he was, for no reason absolutely furious with me. He wouldn't speak to me or help me or anything. He also wouldn't file, which I thought was cutious since he was the one announcing our demise and demanding a divorce. Well, he was having another affair and didn't want me to find out. I tried for over 2 weeks to talk to him about compassionately ending our marriage, but he balked, procrastinated, and put me off. So, I filed. I was tired of the roundy-round thing. I wanted a direction, and I wanted to head there. He had his chance to negotiate, too. Sorry. Call my lawyer. I'm through. I need a new life, being as he's already got an impulsive head start on his.<P>My husband didn't meet my needs let alone address them, because he couldn't. Alcoholic. Also had a bunch of affairs online and off. With men and women. Oh, that was fun. This time I have him and his "squeeze" on video from P.I. surveillance. That should go over big at mediation. In any event, he'll never be able to meet my needs as long as alcohol comes first in his life. Although it wasn't the worst problem, it sure screwed things up for us. Too bad. I really loved the guy, just not his behavior.<P>Actions speak louder than words,<BR>Nell
