Mitzi - I cannot believe this!! Nick is right - it's time for the gloves to come off. I cannot believe he is stupid enough to pull this - I think any judge would laugh your ex right out of the courtroom and dismiss the whole thing.<P>I know how much you care about your kids and that you ARE a good Mom to them - it was so evident, even from the short time that I spent seeing you with them. They are great kids, and don't deserve to be subjected to this.<P>My prayers are with all of you. It was great meeting you and the kids - they are really great!!

Ok, now that I've had time to calm down and think, I've come up with a way to handle this. <P>My lawyer's on vacation so, he's not any help right now. <P>I'm gonna ignore this and go about my days until I hear something official. If/when I do, I will deal with it the best I can. I will answer any questions, show them my home, anything they want. And I will KEEP my sons!<P>Then...when my lawyer is back, I'm going to take [censored] to court over the back child support, other money that he owes me, and about his lack of contact with the kids. I'm going to ask for him to be drug tested, and bring up any lousy thing about him and his barfly that I can. I want to make sure that everything is on record so I don't ever have to go thru this again. <P>Butterfly and Lady M,<P>It was great meeting you guy too!! We're definately gonna have to do it again!! <P>Mitzi

(((((((((((Mitzi)))))))))))))))))<P>Sorry for the late reply but I've been out of town for a week. I can't believe this nonsense. I also can't believe you are working 60-70 hours a week!! I remember when you first came here and you got your job and everything. <P>You have come a long way and you are NOT an unfit mother. Your kids will not be taken from you, perhaps you can work less hours when you get the money owed to you.<P>I'm sorry you are going thru this. But your strong and a fighter and I know you'll be getting thru it. I was just thinking that it was a year ago last weekend that we met , and I passed right thru W Va for my trip.<P>On another note, when we first came here we went thru much similarities with our ex's. I was amazed to see this post because my ex is trying now to take my kids from me too. Again, all started this week, because I chose to go out of town for a vacation with my bf for a week. He refused to watch them, and now I am unfit because I left my kids for one week.<P>Sending you hugs, Dana<BR>

Mitzi<P>UGGH! He can no longer abuse you physically - so he tries to file a frivolous custody case - hurting you financially, and he's trying to keep you from being focused on what you need to do - work - to pay for your kids - because he won't - WHAT AN EVIL person.<P>I've been there in my first marriage. No FUN. Watch your P's and Q's - and get the judge to make HIM pay your attorney fees. He needs to learn NOT to use the justice system (yeah, right... "justice") as a means to continue the abuse. Contact a Women's Crisis Center or Shelter and see what they will help you with.<P>God bless you.<BR>TnT

Well, I saw the great and powerful A$$ yesterday. <P>It seems that in his alcohol-soaked thinking, he thought that if he ended up with the boys, he would also end up with me. I don't think so! <P>What a fool! He's still living with The Thing, is still drinking all the time, still doing his drugs of choice...he hasn't changed ONE BIT!! <P>I just had to say no and walk away from him! How stupid does he think I am???? I've been away from him for 18 months and I'm not about to go back to the way things were. <P>So, as for the unfit mother stuff, I guess I'll still have to deal with that. I haven't heard anything new though and my lawyer is on vacation! <P>Mitzi

{{Mitzi}}<P>He may realize when he talks to his attorney some more that he is in a losing situation and back off. I know that the more my stbx does to me to try and upset my life that the girls and I are pushing him farther into the realms of no contact.<P>Keep your chin up and I hope that things settle down for you soon. Lots of good thoughts going your way.<P>Lori

Lori,<P>Personally, I just think he's smoking WAY too much crack! <P>He did call today. He said he wanted to talk to the kids and the youngest was the only one who would get on the phone. Get this...he asked his daddy what he looked like! Amazing! I told A$$ that he doesn't remember him much anymore. (Which is true.) <P>We've basically been in almost no contact. He only bothers to call on birthdays and holidays. The boys know they can call him anytime they want. They just rarely want to. I figure, he's the parent (supposedly) and he should be making most of the effort to have a relationship with the boys. <P>Oh well! I've got more important things to worry about. <P>Mitzi

Dear Mitzi, <P>Sorry to hear of your pain. H is dumb (putting it mildly). Your boys, are they old enough to write? Let them write or draw a picture about how they feel about their dad. Sign and date this. <P>1. You will know how they feel.<BR>2. If necessary, you can use this in court as evidence. <BR> Not sure, just a suggestion. <BR>3. Your children will be able to know they can express <BR> themselves. <BR>4. Help you as a mom to know their thoughts on you and H. <BR>5. You know where they need help. <P>Wish I had a good solution. Sounds like you are using your head to be logical. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<P>

Orchid,<P>I know how my kids feel about their dad. We talk about him and the situation a lot. I've always been very close to my sons. <P>My oldest is extremely angry with his dad. (He's 11 1/2) My middle one is 9 and still hurts. He cries sometimes and acts out aggressively at other times. My youngest is 4 and really doesn't remember his dad living here. He asks me to get him a new daddy sometimes. <P>We talk a lot and they ask a lot of questions. I try to be as honest as possible without degrading their father. (Not an easy task! LOL) so far, they're doing well, but it's still not easy.<P>Thanks for the advice<BR>Mitzi