I'm looking for a little feedback. A quick recap.. W and I sold our house on Friday, W moved into a house she bought. I'm in an apartment. I've been plan A'ing since April. I thought I saw some impact, but not enough to keep us from separating. We have been together constantly since separating. Swimming, shopping, dinner, lunch; w and w/o kids. I get I love you in response to my "love you", hugs,kisses . She has called me @ 90% of the time.<BR> My family is very suspicious, says I'm setting myself for a fall. I called her yesterday, said let's run an errand, I'm bringing kids, she says great. There is OM pulling out of the development. She says ( insists) that THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS. Sound familiar? Says there is no contest, or competition. I'm her husband, he's a friend. And I have a bridge to sell... This led to a huge argument..<BR> But the whole thing seems strange; OM is around helping her w house,but we are very friendly, even loving. We're going to the shore w kids this week, to fireworks, etc. She truly seems to enjoy my company. But we are living apart, and OM is in the picture..? <BR> <p>[This message has been edited by Family Man (edited July 02, 2001).]

Dan,<BR> I was wondering where you had gotten off to, good to see you, especially in a new thread. July 4th is always more memorable than Flag Day, anyway! <P>Well, you know that you are violating the rules, but that doesn't concern me. Progress is progress at some point, I realized that today. Keep that distance about the EA/PA...she says they are 'just friends'...right, same thing she told you when it was a PA, wassn't it? (I just want to be friends?) Okay, yes...but forget that now, I think that if you insist that she break off all contact now, it will put you back a bit. IMHO, that's all. Her more important ENs are being met by you now, don't worry about what she gets from him...yet. You've got to make those deposits, Dan, and get some power in the R...the NEW R.<P>This is likely going to be the real big test so far. At some point, it will be appropriate to discuss what she gets from him, avd how you could provide the same. (I think that you will know when you are there, because YOU will be able to answer that question.) Am I correct in assuming that if she is being so insistent (probably lying, yes, you are probably right there.) because you are being so insistent? LEt it go, she sees it as the carrot, and you don't want her manipulating you here, do you? No. I had a hard time taking that from my XW...she is now putting it in there in a casual sense...Told me today, 'Fred's bike got stolen from my apartment last week.' (I knew what she was doing with that.) I said, 'Who's Fred?', and waited for her to begin to speak. I said, 'You mean Rodney's stepfather? Now why do I care about that?' She looked at the floor. Nice job, there. She may have suspected me, although I don't know why, except that I do not encounter them, I do not talk to her about him...EVER. If she takes it there, I take it elsewhere. Takes a lot of patience, strength, and improvisational skills, but so far, I am doing well. She looks like hell. Her hair is completely undone, she has gained weight, and may be borderline alcoholic, I don't see her enough to really say, but she is drinking more than normal for her. It seems like she is really struggling, and she is looking to me to hold her up. I am doing all I can, but money continues to dominate the situation on all fronts.<P>The holiday is full of opportunities, but you MUST make some boundaries for yourself. I think it may look promising, but don't try for too much at once, keep that patience in charge. This WILL take time, you know that.<P>I am very encouraged by your news, let it go slowly. Take care of yourself, Dan...I am rooting for you. God bless.<P>-Mike<P>