My wife informed me in February that she no longer loves me. She filed for divorce in March, and when I was served the papers, I hired an attorney. My attorney spoke with my wife's attorney, and accordingly my wife told her she still loves me and that she wants to reconcile. My wife denys that she told her attorney any of those things. I found out that my wife has been having a lesbian relationship since at least April. We went through mediation in June, so the divorce should be final very soon. My wife has admitted to me that she has had girlfriends in the past before we were married, and that a friend in college introduced her to Christ. Now that our marriage is in trouble, my wife is tired of doing the right thing. We have two children. We will have been married 15 years in August. I want toreconcile with my wife- I still am very much in love with her, and I forgive her for what she has done, but she will not forgive me. I want to do anything possible to reconcile, including counseling, but my wife says the marriage cannot be fixed, and she will not go to counseling with me. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I am looking forward to having a new and improved marriage with my wife!<P>

Big T,<P>Your wife leaving you could be the most painful event you will ever face in your life. My wife finalized our divorce last Wednesday, and I've been a basket case ever since. Be strong, read lots of books on divorce recovery, join a group, get professional help.<P>Don't give up on reconciliation, but don't bet your life on it either. Believe me, your wife being "almost gone" is not nearly as painful as her really being gone for good. It's a real killer and it takes a while for it to soak in.<P>I feel your pain - big time!

Were there a lot of solar flares in Feb/March? Or just a lot of alien abductions? What's the deal with that? <P>Hello, BigT, welcome!<P>Sorry about your wife, I, too feel your pain. Got told that in March, D'ed on May 23rd. Yes, it hurts, bro. I'd rather have given up a lung, and kidney, and acouple of other assorted organs. We do not get to choose our pain, but we do get to choose how we hadle it, right? You need to educate yourself, my friend, and I don't just mean on these forums, either. Go back to the home page, and hit every link, except the adverts. Read, read, read. This is a good time to focus on you, and make your life work the way it is. You must learn to be content. I'm not asking you to be happy, or ecstatic, or anything like that, just quit squirming so...you know what I mean...we all do it.<P>I think it might be a good idea to find out (ON YOUR OWN) what she gets from women that she does not get from you, and work on that big time. Forgive me, when people post on here, it is pretty much 'stream of consciousness', and so I want to clarify that the sleeping with women is not connected to finding Jesus in college, is it? I'm a little fuzzy on that. Please clarify, because I get the impression that this friend introduced her to Jesus, and bi-sexuality? You see my dilemma?<P>I sure hope that you are not believing the BS from the lawyer? Look, don't let the smooth taste fool you, the talk between two lawyers is just clicks and pops, friend...stay out of that! In fact, do not respond to ANYTHING you hear second hand, and third hand...forget it! You are better than all of that!<P>Be strong, be content, show your integrity in the face of adversity. Allow yourself to be wronged without the need for revenge. It does not speak well of a man of your character...'Nuff said. Take care, friend. I will pray for you.