This is only my second posting. I did get one hit on my 1st posting and it turned out to be very helpful. But I still need help. <P>Right now I feel so alone and so desperate. I have to go sign the "DP's" today and I am scared out of my mind. I am just sitting at my desk weeping. <P>I have been fighting doing this for almost a month. But I promised my "H" that I would sign them by today. I feel like someone died. <P>I have 2 fears:<BR>1. My "H" is just telling me whatever he has to say to make me sign the papers. That he really has no intension of trying to salvage our relationship;<BR>2. I really don't agree with the "DP's". He drew them up and I had no input. I am just supposed to agree, but I don't.<P>So, if we really are going to rebuild then what the papers say doesn't really matter. But because of my 1st issue I am scared to sign. He has done a lot of things in the past just to intentionally hurt me, and I feel like this migh be his last hoorah!! He can't top this. It has hurt me to the core. <P>I know I brought a lot of it on my self too. That causes me some feelings of being a failure and basically I feel like I am about to be alone forever. I know this sounds really pitiful and I guess I am having a big pity party, but I just can't seem to snap ot of it..<BR>

He won't stay, or come back, out of <I>pity</I>. You can't dig in and expect it to work. <P>But if you haven't taken those papers to a lawyer before signing, you're flirting with disaster.

I missed your first post but I am confused.<P>You say you are to go sign the DPs today. Is that a petition for a divorce or is it the settlement?<P>Do you have an attorney?<BR> <BR>The first thing I would tell anyone to do is to get an attorney - not that I think they are wonderful things to have but you need to be sure you are not signing anything you don't need to sign. Did you understand that?<P>If there is anything in those papers you don't like or don't understand, stall on those grounds and get legal advice.<P>Now, as to feeling like the world is ending and all you can do is cry about it, I understand that. I felt the same way. So did many of the people here. <P>I know it feels like you are dying inside and part of you is. But you can make it through this.<P>Do you have a counselor or minister to whom you can turn - who can help you see your way through the mess? You know, even therapists need jobs. And I have certainly done my support to feed the ones in my city.<BR>

I wouldn't sign them. Not because of the 1st reason but the second. You had no input. You could be getting took to the cleaners. <P>My .02$<BR>Tex.

Idostylin,<P>If you feel so scared, don't sign it!<P>Secondly, God pities us as a father pities his children.<BR>Psalms 103.<P>So guess what?<P>We we supposed to pity ourselves so we can pity others with the same pity or sympathy!<P>So go head and cry your heart out for you and one day you'll cry for me too!<P>Now do you love yourself as a failure?<P>Well I am a failure: Do you love and respect me?<P>See?<P>I love myself as a failure so that I can love and respect you as myself.<P>We all fail at something, so that is ok.<P>What we should never do is hate and disrespect ourselves as failures!<P>Love you!<P>If I can be of any other help, please ask!<P>In Love,<BR>Omega<P>

PLEASE do not sign the papers. First, get a lawyer. Second you should check into counseling. It sounds like you are tremendously depressed. Anti depressants will help clear your head and help you think rationally. I would ask your doctor. Is your H having an affair? If so you may want to also go to the general question section and also ask questions there. I did not agree to anything until I was comfortable with the fact that it was over. It took me 6 months after H walked out to even think about paperwork. Be good to yourself. Remember you need to keep your job thru this. Does your employer know of your situation? Read all the info you can, it helps!!! God is in control of your life than you are-your H has no control. Hang in there girl!!! We are here for you!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cinderella:<BR><B>I missed your first post but I am confused.<P>You say you are to go sign the DPs today. Is that a petition for a divorce or is it the settlement?<P>Do you have an attorney?<BR> <BR>The first thing I would tell anyone to do is to get an attorney - not that I think they are wonderful things to have but you need to be sure you are not signing anything you don't need to sign. Did you understand that?<P>If there is anything in those papers you don't like or don't understand, stall on those grounds and get legal advice.<P>Now, as to feeling like the world is ending and all you can do is cry about it, I understand that. I felt the same way. So did many of the people here. <P>I know it feels like you are dying inside and part of you is. But you can make it through this.<P>Do you have a counselor or minister to whom you can turn - who can help you see your way through the mess? You know, even therapists need jobs. And I have certainly done my support to feed the ones in my city.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It is the petition for divorce. Neither my "h" nor myself have a lawyer. We are going through one of those Law clinic type of places (We the People). He filed the petition and it is all his input.<P>Yes, I do have a counselor and I also counsel with my Pastor. I just don't seem to have the support when I need it most, during the lull periods like at night and early i the morning.<P>I think I have bought a couple of therapist's meals, paid some house notes too. <P>Thanks so much for your time and your concern. I am praying this place helps me through.

See a doctor. Your regular physician or a psychiatrist if you feel you might be depressed. Your physician (even an internist or a GP can probably do a screening for depression.)<P>If your employer does not know about your situation, it might be a good idea to tell them because your mental health can certainly affect your performance at work. <P>You and x may be drawing all this up together but I would sure be tempted to have my own attorney on the side. Even if s/he is not brought out in public. Just to review and make sure everything is on the up and up. And that you aren't going to make a bunch of big mistakes.<BR>

<BR>Thanks for the encouragement. I promise I will need as much help and encouragement as possible..<BR>

Already seeing a doctor too. I am on 20mgs. of Prozac. I have been taking anti-depressants for more than a year. <P>We have been going through for a long time. I do feel exceptionally depressed today though. Maybe becasue it's a dark cloudy day here in ole Cali. <P>But to tell the truth, ater reading responses to my posting I feel a little better. Not so alone. Thanks to all...<P>God Bless<P>

Hi Idostylin,<P> I'm glad you are feeling a little better. Who's idea isit for the D? Like the others said, DO NOT sign them until you know exactly what you are doing.<P>If your H wants a D, what is his hurry? You can always use the "I know that you want me to sign these but I need some time to get my mind and feelings together and know that you will be considerate enough for me to do that"......You know, enlist him in this. It sounds to me like he is trying to rush this through....what you sign can affect you for a long , long time.<P>Hang in there , girl, get an attorney so you know what your rights are.....get empowered .......LU