Hey guys....has everyone read this book? Someone suggested on the first day that I posted here that I order it, and I did. Got it in the mail today. I must say something though. It's looking to me after reading the first chapter that it is directed at women who have husbands who cheated - - not the other way around. I have gotten through the first chapter and am a little disappointed at how "gender biased" it is. I am in another little boat, I guess. I'm not the woman scorned - but visa versa. I'm "banished" to my apartment this weekend by my husband, so I'm going to re-read the first chapter (and the whole book) and see if I'm missing something. I love the fact that it is full of scripture and I have my bible with me tonight so I can re-read every reference. I have to admit that alot of the books I have read since my husband has filed for divorce are this way - seems like everyone just assumes that it's the guy that is cheating on the other. Doesn't always happen that way. Women who screwed up also want a clear way in which to restore their marriage. One of the better books I have read is "Why forgive" and "When love dies". Another thing I need to vent about here is that it always seems to me in these books I'm reading that the woman is so in love with her husband and wants everything back to normal. What if I don't love my husband. Scary thing to write - more scary to say. Why are these books pointed at men who cheat and women who want them back? What about the "Peggys" of the world who screw up and want to keep their family together even though they aren't sure they love their husband or that they are doing the right thing? <P>Peggy.....please don't bash me - I've only read the first chapter, and I've committed to re-read it again tonight along with the complete book. <P>Oh yeah....maybe I should order the book that is directed towards men. I know that there are two, right?<P>------------------<BR>

No, I'll do the bashing here....that seems that way because it is that way. They have a version for men, too...equally biased in the other direction, so the balance is there.<P>Erin Thiele wrote it from her experience, and that is what happened to her. It is really irrelevant, however, the words still ring true. The men's book is for MEN that did that, and my situation is that my XW divorced me to go to my friend. THAT is NOT covered, either, but if you have started to read, maybe you are 'hearing' some truth being spoken?<P>No, there isn't one that I'm aware of. Like I said, its the same thing...really. The Bible is for ANYONE, there really aren't any passages that deal directly with this situation....BUT...read Hosea if you want to know the story of a man that was wronged by a woman...then again, it doesn't mention her doing ANYTHING to get him back. See? The thing is for you to get right with GOD, the R will either get better as a result, or not.<P>RM is radical, I'll not try to bat that away at all. This is a fairly radical situation, wouldn't you say? Desperate times call for desperate measures, and they usually aren't the kind that occur first.<P>Read the whole thing, and make your decision after the end of it all. The other book...about A Wise Woman Builds...or whatever, is a workbook, spouting much of the same stuff, but with some more help than "Restore...". I have the Men's Restoration packet...it was worth the money to me, but that's just me. I've read a lot of truth about me in there, and it hurts, but...like I said, desperate times, and all.<P>Take care in any case! Enjoy your reading. I'll pray.

I am also familiar with Restore Ministries and their concepts. You may be the wayward spouse, but your husband is the one who wants the divorce. If you want to restore your marriage, then the priciples in her book apply to your situation from my standpoint. She points the way to restoration using Biblical principles that the wife is to follow. It doesn't make any difference if you are the wayward or the betrayed wife. Her book and workbook are guidelines to draw you closer to God and to let Him do the work in you that is necessary for His purpose. You have to put your relationship with God first!, and let God take care of your husband. Please take the time to check out their website, because it explains their beliefs and concepts. Its at <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A>

Ok....re-read the first chapter, and finished the entire book. I also had a chance this morning to read the one for men that my husband ordered. It is definately better. It even has a section in it about spying on the one you think is cheating and much more down to earth information. In my humble opinion - the one directed towards women isn't much help, but the book for men is really really helpful.<P>Only my opinion, Peggy

Maybe not a direct help in your present situation, but the information will be of great value in any case.<P>Please forgive me, but are you saying that you feel that the book does not apply to you, since you did not file? Everything in that book does apply to any wife, to every wife...that's the whole point of RM, the restoration is the BEGINNING, not the end. I see it as instruction to me as a husband, father, and child (bondslave) of God. I am not the one who filed, or strayed, and yet...I am an angry man, I am a proud man, I have 'dealt treacherously with the wife of my youth.'. I'd say that the fact that she left me was indicative of that, not just her 'being sinful'. What caused it after all?...it wasn't just her.<P>I just want to caution you to keep in mind that you are both GUILTY of not heeding your Creator's call to sanctify his covenant by your obedience to the other. This is definitely a two way street for EVERYONE.<P>I do hope and pray that you both work through this with great diligence, and patience. God bless you both.