My wife of 8 years has filed for divorce. She has been havin an affair for about the past 3 months. The man in question is also married (15 years with 1 child) and was a Sunday school teacher at our church. It is obvious he is going through a mid-life crisis. My wife wants to hurry up the divorce because "they are in love and will be togehter". It is obvious that she doesn't care about our family (3 children) and that she is thinking only of herself. I have recently found out that she may have been sexually abused by her adoptive father as a teenager and that her father may have been "hitting on her" during our marriage. I know these things are affecting her judgement. She knows I don't want a divorce. I love my wife and want to do anything and everything to save my family.<P>My question is this: Should I do everything in my power to stall the divorce? I believe that if I contest the divorce, it will allow more time for the other relatioship to fall apart. I truly believe that their affair will not last. My wife has threatened me with great hatred if I contest the divorce. I feel I have nothing to lose. What do any of you think?

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rcrich:<BR><B>My question is this: Should I do everything in my power to stall the divorce? I believe that if I contest the divorce, it will allow more time for the other relatioship to fall apart. I truly believe that their affair will not last. My wife has threatened me with great hatred if I contest the divorce. I feel I have nothing to lose. What do any of you think?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I agree that you have nothing to lose by contesting and stalling the divorce (as long as you do it with honesty and respect). There is a good chance that your wife will decide to hate you no matter <I>what</I> you do, since her only alternative is to hate herself.<P>In my own situation, my wife claimed that it was my offer to work with her on a dissolution that made her decide to fight it out in court. I can only conclude that she <I>had</I> to believe I was the bad guy, and if I wasn't going to play the part voluntarily, then she was going to <I>make</I> me.<BR>