My wife of 26 years says she wantes a divorce. We have only been seperated for a few months. I told her I would not sign the papers. Can she still divorce me if I don't sign the papers. Excuse me if this is an easy question but I am new at this.

Islander,<P>Wow, 26 years. That's awesome. Well, yes I believe she can divorce you if she wants to, despite your protests. I don't know where you live or what kind of statutes your state has for divorce, but here in Florida, we are a no-fault divorce state. The way my attorney explained it, there must be irreconciliable differences in the relationship, rendering the marriage irretrievable. If I claim that differences are reconciliable, the judge has the option to send us to counseling for 6 weeks before we procede with or cancel the divorce. My attorney said that in our district, they will always grant a delay for counseling if one spouse objects to a divorce. This usually ticks the other spouse off royally, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. If I may suggest, it would be a good idea to begin interviewing potential divorce lawyers. Most of them here do this for free, and they spend an hour or so with you. As much as you don't want the divorce, you will want to protect yourself and your joint assets. I hope things look up for you.<P>Nell

islander...I am so sorry, friend. It really makes no sense, does it? No, it never will.<P>In Illinois, no-fault requires both to sign, it is unconstested. Contesting a divorce here is a pretty good stall tactic, BUT the ugliness grows exponentially. I do not agree with stalling, but that's just me. I was divorced in 15 minutes with no legal separation at all, then again...that's just me. There were no lawyers involved, but....okay, enough.<P>I was married 18 years, and I did not want to get ugly with her...she threatened ugliness, I called...she relented, I signed. Yes, that's about how it went. Now, I did that for the long run, and I'm pretty sure it is really starting to bug her, I know I'm bugged out maximally about it, as I'm sure you are. Personally, I'd do the same again, given the chance. Its an equitable agreement, and I have no real assets, so...it was easy(!?)<P>So, yes she can, but then it will drag on, your lawyer will get you continuances, charge you lots of money, and it makes for a major LB at the time...I think you need to think about how it will affect your R after the fact.<P>Tie a knot, and hold on to that. Take care of yourself...this feels strange, I know...but it is your life now. God bless you, islander.

Islander,<BR>I agree with Nell that you may want to at least consult a lawyer. Here in Tennessee I was told that after one party files for divorce, the other party has 30 days to respond after the notice has been served. If they do not, the filing party can go to the judge and get whatever they asked for in a default judgement. And it does not matter whether the division is equitable or not. So it is really important to find out how the laws in your state work. I was married 22 yrs before my H decided he was tired of the kids and me, so I feel for you.<BR>