I feel alittle strange writting this letter in this site, but I have no others to really talk to about this, and I have read several of the letters and this site seems like the right place to discuss this. Ok, here I go. I married my wife 8 years ago and we have 2 beautiful children. Well, most of you know that us guys can get wrapped up in what we are doing and tend to neglect our better halves, after our second child that is what I unintentionally did. My wife has said that in the past 2 years that she is not "in love" with me any longer, I moved out of our house about 6 months ago and just recently we have started doing things as a family again, however she says that she wants to be "in love", we are best friends and always have been. I miss her deeply, and I am not sure what direction to turn now, my relationship with my daughters is fantastis, and is getting better with her each and every day, however, the question of the day is it possible to "Fall in Love" again? If so how? Who is there to talk to or to guide us. Thank you for reading this note, and in advance for any advice given. <BR>

TWilliams,<BR><B>YES!</B> It is possible to fall in love again! After we have been married for awhile it is human nature to start taking for granted the things we loved about our spouses and focus more on what we would like to change. But I know from experience that if you make a conscious effort to change your focus to noticing the things you appreciate and make sure to vocalize those things to your wife, you can both regain "that love'n feelin". It sounds like you guys are already making a good start in the family. What about taking it a step further - ask your wife out on some good old fashion dates. We women LOVE to be courted and to know our men are interested in fighting for us. I think reading the love busters section posted here could be helpful too. Good luck!!!!<P>CHARACTER IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN KNOW ONE ELSE IS WATCHING <BR><p>[This message has been edited by SoSad.59 (edited July 08, 2001).]

<BR>Hello and Welcome to Marriage Builders!<P>First, I would like to share two links with you. Just click on the underlined links here, and read –><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi10_tour.html" TARGET=_blank>Tour of Marriage Builders</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A>. <P>Please read everything you can on this site, post and read often!! <P>I have been betrayed and betrayer, so I have the dubious honor of knowing what infidelity does from BOTH SIDES of the situation. <P>I believe in the concepts espoused here, if applied properly. One idea that has worked *wonders* for some couples is Plan A. Read about it here –><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>What Are Plan A and Plan B</A>.<P>Use what you learn here to make your marriage a safe place where you do your best to meet the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A> of your spouse,and avoid <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A> whenever possible. . When a decision must be made, use the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>POJA</A> to determine the final outcome that you can both agree upon.<P>Many couples find that counseling is VERY helpful, and the counseling provided here is excellent for several reasons; but the most important is that it goes along with the concepts here. Check it out here –> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counsel Link</A><P>Again, welcome to our community, and feel free to write often and ask lots of questions!<P><B>ABOUT YOUR POST</B>: Yes, it's possible to fall in love again... Read about Plan A, and then live it, breathe it!!<P>Weekends are slow, so expect to hear a LOT more tomorrow!!<P>Again, welcome!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Yes, weekends are slow, but I have no social life right now, so....<P>There are shelves full of books on that topic, but one of the best by far is 'Love Life For Every Married Couple' by Ed Wheat....also by him is 'How To Save Your Marriage Alone', both together will set you back a mere $15, or so. Quite a sound investment, wouldn't you say?<P>Plan A is doable, I suggest you get started yesterday. Do read this entire site, not just the forums. If you can afford it, get a telephone consult with Steve Harley ASAP. This requires a lot of planning, and doing, and knowing.<P>The most important thing is to get right with yourself; the only way to do that, IMHO, is to get right with God first. If that sounds attractive to you, here is a good place to start that: <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org</A> BE FOREWARNED: this site will require a FULL committment (spelled m-o-n-e-y) because it is financed completely by its members. The money is not an excessive amount, however, and the materials are literally, a gift from above.<P>Stay strong, be loving, make sure you read about Love Busters, and get them eliminated by the most expeditious manner available to you. Many people get on anti-depressants, they help some people, and that is a good thing, but try to rely on God for your strength, and faith. He is your first and best ally in this (and all) endeavor(s).<P>I am truly sorry for your pain, I know it well. We all do. Come here when you need a hand, or an ear...we will not desert you, betray you, or leave you. We will be your rock. Take care, and God bless you, and your family. I will pray.<p>[This message has been edited by waiting_for_her (edited July 08, 2001).]

TWilliams,<P>I can answer your question from past experience. About 8 years ago, my now exH and I split up. We were apart for a year. At that point, we hadn't been married yet. We were young, ages 21 and 20 and had 2 children at the time ages 3 and 18 months.<P>It was a rough time for me being such a young single mom and I didn't get child support either. He did not take part in the girls' life either. I swore I'd never go back to him.<P>There was a crisis in the family, and he had no where to turn, but me. I let him turn to me as a friend and told him don't get any ideas.<P>Well , somehow, he was on his best behavior and we wound up in counseling. The first part of it was very painful and I wanted to quit several times. We wound up working things out, and the first few years after that, I did feel as if I "fell in love" all over again.<P>I believe it can and does happen all the time, if both people are interested. Sometimes it takes being apart to realize this.<P>My only advice to you is if this happens, please be sure to work on your marriage continuously.<P>I went on to have another daughter and be married, and was very settled in my life. I took it for granted, and my husband had an affair, and is now engaged to the OW.<P>I feel like I should have known better because this WAS our second chance. <P>I think MB is a great place for you two to learn some good techniques to strengthen your marriage. Just don't ever STOP working on it once it is restored. As quickly as you forget how hard it really is, it can all be gone.<P>Good luck to you both, <BR>Dana<P>PS Be cautious what counselor in your area you choose, go with someone who has a reputation for saving marriages, or someone you get a referral on from a trusted friend. Bad counselors / therapists can cause you more grief. We got ours thru an EAP program at work back then, and switched once before we found one we could both work with.