Tomorrow will be the day that this chapter of my life shall come to a close. Our divorce will be final at 9:30am. We do not have the custody issues or asset/debt issues resolved so the only thing that will be declared in court is that we are no longer husband and wife. I am trying to figure out whether or not I should go to the hearing. Those of you who know me know that I’m a very emotional person and I think that it would be a good step in the grieving process if I do go. The only reason I don’t want to go is that I know that it will be a hard time for me even though, in my mind I’ve decided that it is not my wife that I miss, it’s the thought of having a wife that I miss.<P>Thoughts, prayers, and hugs requested.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

((((((((Bill))))))))<P>I feel for you my friend and I will be thinking of you tomorrow as well.<BR>I was not present at my divorce hearing, but neither was my ex. We did not have any children and our property settlement was very simple so neither of us were required to attend. However, in your case, I would definitely go to the hearing. I know that it will be difficult and the emotions will be shaky, but you never know if the judge will have any questions and I would not want those answers coming from someone else. Just my opinion……<P>I also know the feeling about missing YOUR wife vs. missing A wife. I had a thread awhile back regarding love vs. the dream of love and the topic seemed rather common. I don’t have that much advice for you in this area, but I understand.<P>Take care of yourself.<BR>

<BR>Our thoughts and prayers are with you tomorrow. I know that I would feel the need to go to the hearing - even though I too have a hard time with the emotions of all this. Its an important event in our lives. And I do hope that this process will provide some closure, so maybe the pain will start to lessen.

I didn't attend the hearing. The emotions that drove that decision were complex. In the end, it was perhaps just cowardice in the face of of a situation where only the outcome was predictable, and where that outcome was in fact a foregone conclusion meaning that my presence wouldn't matter. <P>Of course, by not going, you'll never know what happens in the room. <P>If I had it to do over, I'm not sure what I would do. <p>[This message has been edited by Sisyphus (edited July 09, 2001).]

Bill,<P>As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you, but I'll especially bring you before God the next couple of days. As I've said to so many, I'll pray that He will send you ministering angels to soothe your aching heart, and in your case, I think the angels will be little girls!<P>You know, each person is different, so what is good and comfortable for me may not be good and comfortable for you. But knowing you as I do, I think you might need to go to the hearing. It won't be easy, and there may be nothing for you to do or say, but I think YOU might need to be present to participate in the end of your marriage. Know what I mean? Kind of like attending a funeral, once you go to the cemetery, sometimes you can let go and accept that there has been a death.<P>Just my opinion. You need to do what is right for you, and as painful as it's going to be, I think this might really help you on the journey. <P>Hugs to you.<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Thank you all so very much. I am going to go and watch as some man I don't even know turns the page that will end this chapter of my life. <P>It's very reassuring to know that you all will be there with me.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Bill - Please know my prayers are with you. May God give you strength and peace tomorrow. It is so painful, watching what you cherished and tried to protect being ripped away and declared a non-entity. You fought the good fight - be at peace, knowing you did everything you could to save your marriage.

Ick. I remember that day well. Ick.<P>There IS nothing to compare. The only thing the page-turner is good for is bringing some closure to what you already knew was happening.<P>Praying for you...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

I've been travelling the last few days and just got on a computer. <P>((((((((((((Bill))))))))))<P>By the time you read this the hearing will probably be over.<BR>But know that I was thinking of you.<P>I know so well what you mean by not missing the person but missing the marriage.<P>Take Care.<P>