Originally posted in Emotional Needs<P>Found out this afternoon that my wife of 16 years had already started the divorce process before she went to see her friend in Chicago. I should be receiving the paperwork in a few weeks. I still love her and do not feel any anger towards her. I am glad that she has found someone that can make her happy. I just wish that it was me. I would like to just thank all you wonderful people for the concern and hope that is put out by this forum. I wish the rest of you success. I guess that sometimes things happen for a reason, I just need to figure out what it is and learn and grow from the experience. God bless you all.<P>Orlando Sanchez<BR>Albuquerque, NM

Orlando,<BR> I am sorry that your marriage seems to be ending. Mine (18 years) ended about 6 weeks ago...its hard, I know.<P>You seem to have a good attitude with respect to your W's happiness...that is good. You know it isn't easy for her, either...16 years is a long time. Your post has the feel of finality to it, I hope that you will keep us posted as to how you are doing, what you are feeling, etc.<P>Have you done either Plan A, or Plan B? Have you gotten any counseling? What about kids...do you have any?<P>I know that you feel bad now, Orlando, but you have been given an opportunity to work on you, here, too. Please make you that you do that.<P>'But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.' - I Peter 5:10

<BR>Dear Orlando, <BR>I am so sorry. This feels terrible, doesn't it? It especially hurts me to know that I could not fill my STBXB's emotional void, and I sure as heck can't think of a reason God would let this happen. I keep trying to figure the reason out and it has been making me crazy! But the wonderful people here are helping me. So let them help you too. <BR>Sometimes crummy things just happen. I used to say "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it" That was alot easier to say when it wasen't happening to me!!!!!<BR>Please just remember, it was not you who gave up on the marriage, and surely God blesses those who take their marriage vows as a covenant. <BR>We are all thinking of you. <BR>

You seem to have a good out look on this,I took the same outlook as you and it has made a difference in me. It really doesn't me it is over it can be a new beggining for you. Life and people change and sometimes it just doesn't seem to make sence, be aptient and give it time you never know when she might come out of the fog<P>