<BR>I have no 'good' reason to be sad today.<P>But this would have been my 8th anniversary.<P>I left him in December. He filed. We will be divorced in a month and a half.<P>I have no regrets in finally leaving the abuse behind. Despite his prophecies of doom, I have been able to provide for everything I've needed, and when I couldn't, my friends and family have been there for me.<P>Why am I sad? Because I failed? Because I couldn't change him? Because it must be that I somehow 'made' him abusive since he swears he never was before he met me? Because I gave up and left when I should have been the 'good wife' and given him a second, twentieth, hundredth chance to stop being hateful and mean?<P>I know that God did not intend for me to stay in an abusive marriage and be miserable, I am just sure of it. But I cannot figure out what He wants me to do next. He has brought people into my life over the past year that have made this so much easier, AND some that made it much harder.<P>Does anyone else feel like even if they met the 'right person' after divorce, that they would never want to be married again? I think I would be more likely to have a long-term relationship, even to the extent of living together if that should happen, than to remarry. Does this mean that I'll be 'living in sin' the rest of my life - if I find that partner I want to spend the better half of my life with, and don't want to do the whole 'wedding' thing again?<P>T-L-C<BR>

(((((((T-L-C))))))))))<P>I'm a man of few words today but I wanted you to know that someone knows how you feel. I watched our 12th anniverary go by last month. I've heard the stories that I caused my wife to act the way she did. Honey, it's not you and it wasn't me, it was them.<P>Don't even worry about someone else right now. You need to take some time for you. You need to heal yourself. <P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

I think today is just gloomy all around <P>Maybe it is time for us all to have another pity party??<P> <BR> <BR> <P>

<BR>Done being sad.<P>What makes him think that it is okay to not pay his child support?<P>I don't think it is much ... $75 a week for two kids ... what seems to be too much for him to handle right now is having a JOB ...

<BR>I guess I am just not done venting.<P>43 days until it's over.<P>We don't talk to each other unless absolutely necessary. He cannot be civil, and I have my limits in the face of nastiness.<P>It seems like I'm stuck in hurry-up-and-wait mode and I don't like it. Waiting for the results of the psych evaluation he ordered (hoping that it backfires on him and doesn't hurt me), waiting for the answers to the interrogatories we sent him that he's late in responding to (wondering what he'll say), waiting to hear back on the settlement offer my atty sent his (after I found out he wanted half of my inheritance), wishing I didn't have to send the kids with him for a week this Sunday (knowing he won't grant me the parenting time I'm entitled to during the week), just wanting this over so badly it aches.<P>

I know that dealing with the nastiness just plain sucks. My wife couldn't be civil or nice to save her life. I chose the high ground. I very rarely confronted her or argued back. I was almost always loving and sweet during the two months we had to wait. Was it worth it, YES, my children saw both sides of the fence. Which side do you think they liked??<P>As for the other issue's, though we are legally divorced, we still have to do our final custody arrangements and property settlement. I guess what I'm saying is that don't be surprised if after those 43 days are over, there still may be some legal issues left to do.<P>I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.<BR> <P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-