I posted once before - To make a long story short, H left the house on 7/1. We have been together for 18 yrs. 3 kids, 16, 15, and 9. I work part time for school system. He works all the time.. We maybe see him in a given week - 18 hours. So I took on both parenting roles. Took care of everything to the best of my ability. We argue all the time. Mainly about the children. <P>Now that he has gone, he has stopped having his checks deposited in our account, and told me to tell him how much I will need for the bills. He told me not to panic that he will take care of the kids. He all the sudden is concerned about the kids and calls them everyday. He never did that before.<P>I want my marriage, but I am afraid that he does not. I thought I would just ride this out - but I am not sure. I have made an appointment with a marriage therpist, but he said he will not go. Should I go alone?<P>Also, should I contact a lawyer. I don't want to go that route, but it seems that my H doesn't want to work things out with me right now. Should I give him some space to grow up? I am just confused as I have never had to think about ending my marriage before? Any help would be appreciated! Thanks

(((Bladybug)))<P>Yes, I think that you should go to the therapist. They maybe able to shed a little more light on your husband's current behaviour.<P>Another thing that you need to do is protect yourself financially. Tell him how much you need for bill's and see what the reaction is. IMO if he's not willing to provide it you need to see a lawyer, immediately.<P>Has there been talks about divorce? How are the kid's taking their dad being gone?<P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Thanks for your response. I told H today how much I will need for bills. He said fine. He also said again not to panic. <P>He has talked about divorce. I have not. He has said before that when kids turn 18, he was out of here. I figured by that time, it would have gotten easier. He has left before,when the kids where younger, and when he came back it was like nothing happened. So we never "FIXED" things. He is now saying that he does not love me, but that he cares for me. <P>Now that the kids are older this is really bothering them. My oldest and I seem to get in screaming matches all the time. He told me his dad wants his respect, but that his dad has never respected him. And now that his dad left all the sudden he wants a father son relationship with him. I just tell my son to talk to his dad and tell him what he is feeling.<P>Our middle child has really turned in to himself. I am worried about his one. I have made an apponitment w/therapist for him also. The whole family needs to go I think, but taking one step at a time.<P>My daughter does not understand. If I asked her is she is all right with this, she will say "Dad is never here and you are the one upset because you are married to him". <P>So as you can see, I am just confused, and trying to figure out what to do here! Thanks for responding.