Having a bad weekend. My soon to be XW's best friend came over yesterday to pick up some of her stained glass project materials and is planning to pick up the rest today. Just seeing her brought up quite a bit of emotion in me. I really had to try just to keep from crying. She said that if I need somebody to talk to just to give her a call. I know that she was just being polite. The emotions that are coming up again makes it seem like we just got separated yesterday. I feel lost again. I have been trying to find a support group here locally but it is going to be tough if I find one because I don't know my final work schedule yet. The place that I work is open from 5am to 12:45am 7 days a week. I may be working sometime within that time frame. I don't think that there are going to any support groups that meet in the early morning. I have not been getting much sleep lately either. I have been averaging about 4 hours a night. I really miss my wife and doing things with her and her friends. It seems that this nightmare will never end. I have been taking walks whenever I get the chance but it doesn't seem to help much. I still have a message on my answering machine from when my wife called me last. Sounds pretty sad doesn't it. I still pray for some kind of miracle to happen that will bring my wife back to me. Starting to get that misty feeling again so I better go.

Hey Orlando,<P>I'm sorry this weekend has been crummy for you. I understand where you are coming from. The couples that my STBXH and I ran around with worked with my H, so I lost them when he moved on. So besides the pain of rejection, you also have to cope with loneliness. Support groups are great if they are people that you would like to hang out with regardless. I also have explored volunteering for the local hospital or something. I think getting out, making some new friends and focusing on other people helps alot with the loneliness,<P>And you know it's OK that you still feel grief. How can you not feel despair over the loss of your marriage? And people recover at different rates. My H left 1 1/2 years ago, and I am just now starting to recover just a little. I was married 22 yrs, so I don't know if I will ever completely recover. It takes time. My therapist has helped and this board has helped soo much. So cry your tears when you can without being embarrassed. That is better than holding them inside. And know that God will help. He thinks you are special and wants you to be whole and happy. (((((((((Orlando))))))))<P>You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!<BR> <BR>SoSad.59<BR>