Yesterday a freind called me on the telephone. He is a friend of our families and really a friend of my husbands. About 5 years ago he went through a very painful divorce. Even though at that time I could not personally relate to his pain, I was one of his major support systems. He is now re-married and has a new baby. <P>Anyway he called me and he was talking to me. He was ministering to me and giving me support. His wife divorced him and my husband divorced me, so we both understand those feelings of failure and rejection. He was asking me what I was doing with myself, and I responded I am just sitting here and my daughter chimed in "melting".<P>How sad that she has used that frame of reference to describe my behavior. I am melting! My STBXH is not realy doing anything that I can get angry at him about. He is being kind and concerned. It almost seems that his whole behavior has changed.<P>The problem is I want to hate him. I want him to be a jerk so I can hate him and move on. But now he is being nicer than ever. It is killing me. I still love him and he won't even help me hate him. God I need help.<P>I think I am heading towards the deep end.. Somebody please help me, I'm melting..

Read your e-mail.

I know exactly what you mean....I am totally freaked out by my husband being so nice to me the last week. I have gotten flowers, and nothing but kind words for some reason. He is the one who has filed divorce on me (in December) but this is the first time I have heard a kind word from him since then. <P>The sick thing about my situation is that I had pretty much given up hope (as any of you know from reading my prior posts) and now I am thrown back into the confusion bowl with the mixer going at full speed. He is out of town today, but wants to come back to the "house" tonight, even though it is not his night to be here with the kids. I don't want to be negative towards him, but I don't know what is up. <P>I want him to continue to be mean so I can hate him. I don't like being confused! <P>I guess Texas isn't the only place where people are "melting!!!".

I know exactly what you mean....I am totally freaked out by my husband being so nice to me the last week. I have gotten flowers, and nothing but kind words for some reason. He is the one who has filed divorce on me (in December) but this is the first time I have heard a kind word from him since then. <P>The sick thing about my situation is that I had pretty much given up hope (as any of you know from reading my prior posts) and now I am thrown back into the confusion bowl with the mixer going at full speed. He is out of town today, but wants to come back to the "house" tonight, even though it is not his night to be here with the kids. I don't want to be negative towards him, but I don't know what is up. <P>I want him to continue to be mean so I can hate him. I don't like being confused! <P>I guess Texas isn't the only place where people are "melting!!!".

I tried to answer you yesterday, but the site was down for repairs. I typed a whole response and then it wouldn't go through. Oh well...<P>But N E way, My "H" told me he loved me yesterday. Then last night he came over and laid with me. I am so confused. I don't trust his motives. He doesn't have to be nice to me any more I already signed the papers. So, I don't know what he is up to.<P>He wants to monitor my comings and goings. He wants to dictate who I can be freinds with and who I can't, but he wants to have this divorce. He pressured me to sign the papers. Then he acted like he was mad that I signed them. <P>Now he is sitting around with his lips stuck out like he is the saddest person in the world. Man, didin't he divorce me? I mean, wasn't this his desire?<P>I begged him not to. I kept telling him how much I loved him. I tried everything to not have a divorce. But now he wants to act like he is sad?! What the heck is that???<P>Gosh, I really am melting. Only thing Limbo is that I am melting in great big old Cali. The town of overconsuming fakeness and self-centeredness...<P>Oh Boy...........