Hey, sister, soul sister! I was reading something on Dr. Irene's web site today, and it hit so close to home, I thought maybe I better type it for you too. I'll share with you what I learned:<P>"Advice: If you KNOW that a realationship is not good for you, stick to your guns. No matter what promises are made, they will be broken. Don't let your wishful thinking, your guilt, your sorrow or your empathy lead you down another dead end path. People don't change overnight. UNLESS YOU HAVE LEARNED SOME NEW SKILLS, OR YOUR PARTNER HAS BEEN REALLY WORKING THE PROGRAM IN THERAPY, if you go back with your abusive partner, it is only a matter of time before the relationship goes right back to where it was, or becomes worse. Know that you will wake up one day and find yourself in the same hole you are in today, but deeper. If you run your life with your head instead of your heart, you will emerge stronger, wiser, and more self-confidant.<P>Now is the time to learn from your mistakes. Above all, learn to listen to yourself and take your own good advice."<P>Good stuff, huh? Now if only my heart would believe what my head is telling it!!! <P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

(((((CJ))))))<P><sigh> Can I trade in this life for a different one??<P>She's absolutely 100% right. Which is why I think I am so damn depressed over going back to my marriage.<P>Actually, as much as I love him, my heart tells me it won't ever be what I need or what or dream of. My head pretty much agrees...<P>Its the part of my heart that can't stand to hurt my kids and the part of my head that keeps telling me that I need to give him the opportunity to try to fix this. <P>He wrote his no-contact letter this last weekend. <P>He is doing what he promised but not happily. That's really what bothers me the most. So what to do? Do I say: "Sorry, I know you are doing everything I asked, but your attitude isn't good enough for me?"<P>I am pretty sure he is absolutely sincere in wanting to fix this. But he's not even close to "getting it" as Steve Harley used to say.<P>I think he'll eventually get so angry and resentful at what he considers my "control" that it will all fall apart again.<P>Bleah. <P>Thanks for thinking of me CJ!! (((hugs)))<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

((((((((Ladies)))))))))))<P>Just wanted to offer some hugs and support. I've been down that road before and it wasn't easy. Felt much of the same emotions too. My ex had tried very hard to change, our problem was, the changes weren't permanent, which is why I'm divorced today.<P>But, we did go on to 5 more happy years, sure we had ups and downs, but we also had a beautiful daughter (#3) and I wouldn't change any of it.<P>I hope you both find some peace and happiness.<P>CJ I've been wondering how you are, send me an email when you get time, I only have your work email, hugs<BR>Dana<BR>