OK gentlemen, some opinions needed.<P>When a man is getting good sex at home, with a willing and adventurous spouse, does that make them less likely to stray, less likely to cross over into an affair if they are in a precarious emotional bond with an outside person, or more likely to end an affair that may be going on?

Hi,<P>There is no doubt in my mind that sexual fulfillment is , to many people (not just men) a NEED, not just a want. When this need goes unfulfilled with one's spouse, it can cause terrible tempatation, even for those of us who truly aspire to honesty, morality, fair-mindedness, kindness, loyalty, love, etc. It's an awful situation to be in.

Not necessarily any of the above. We had good sex and she still had an affair and left!<BR>In fact some people have said their sex life heated up when the affair was going on!

d and c, i think it certainly assures one of the important emotional needs are satisfied and thus isn't likely to need satisfaction by an outside source. i've also heard of marriage in which the couple had great sex but nothing else. i think the bottom line is all the important emotional needs must be satisfied or one is vulnerable to an affair. i think too, great sex is only possible when several other factors in the marriage is ok. i mean you usually can't have great sex with someone you don't enjoy conversing with.

I read some stuff on a website from a private detective. His experience was that one sign of a man having an affair is decrease sex inside the marraige. However, for a woman, a sign of an affair was increased sex inside the marraige. Not sure if that helps.<P>There were lots of other things to look for too, you can't determine if there is an affair based just on that.

Tee hee! Just goes to show you, these things don't always mean anything. I'M the one buying the nightgowns, and I'M the one with increased interest in sex, and now I'M the one trying new things, so I suppose my H could think I'M having an affair.<P>But I'm not -- just trying to keep HIM happy.

Chris, I'm sorry to disagree with you because I feel so bad over your situation, but your answer has nothing at all to do with the question. If your wife were to have written it then it would be germain. You cannot speak for her fulfillment. Frankie, you cannot answer a general question by saying "I knew a couple......" The question was of a general nature and asks for a general answer. The fact that I know a couple who had great sex but had affairs does not decrease the validity of the claim that IN GENERAL, good sex at home will GENERALLY decrease the chance of a man looking elsewhere.<P>I'm not saying he won't.<BR>I'm not saying he couldnt have some other need to be met outside.<BR>I'm not saying he isn't just a slime bag who would screw around on the perfect wife.<P>I AM saying GENERALLY, the chances go down.<P>For those who are not clear, Generally means that in the population of the US, hte number of men having affairs would decrease if all of the wives were meeting and excveeding the need for sex.<P>Now, please, I know the same applies to all the needs and both sexes so please dont answer me with the very predictable stuff about "why should I if he doesnt" etc. These are GENERALIZATIONS with no practical applicability.

OK pragmatic,<P>I will not answer with the obvious......since i am a women and very sexual, the same holds true...as you indicated....My question to you is....Now what???

My answer is simple, and if you are as you say I am "preaching to the choir".<P>View sex like all the other needs. Equal, no different, nothing special about it to differentiate it from the others. Sex is the one need that "we" tend to put conditions on.<BR>I'll give him good sex if he would only .......fill in the blank.<P>Stop it. Just meet and treat all the needs equally.<P>Thats whats next

Pragmatic,<P>I am not totally understanding your last post....Could you be clearer.....what I am reading into it is that you are indicating that if I have sex, then I can get????? get what? A partner for whom I feel an intense connection? A better feeling going on between us? What are you referring to in relation to "what can I get"? To me, a good sexual relationship is imperative to get fullfillment! It is beyond whatever else there is to get.....only to enhance the entire realtionship.....

Ok PRAG you stated if men are happy sexually at home then they are less likely to sray. Well I kind of disagree with that. What if they do get at home but they are supposedly not in love with there spouse? Or like some others have written there are other needs not meant by that spouse? I seem to feel that may make them stray also Anyone see what I am saying here?

wonder, you are right. any of the other needs that aren't being met may leave a h or w vulnerable to an affair. the key difference here though it that sex, for men, is one the most important emotional needs. the others, while important, are not so important to prompt a man into an affair. it takes a lot of effort and risk taking and a good opportunity to start an affair. so you're having good sex, and he is too, your marriage should be fairly free of ow. imho.

Agree with some that said affairs may be related to sexual fulfillment at home. Others-NO!! There are too many vairables here to really come to any conclusion. Whewre do the sexually compulsive fit in? Nothing to do with "good sex", nothing to do with meeting needs.<BR>Hi Dazed!