Hey guys/gals,<P>This morning my H decided to go on line and read my postings. I don't have anything to hide from him but Now that I feel violated and that I can't talk freely, I am leaving you guys. I will read from time to time, but will not post anymore. <P>I am glad I had time to talk even if it was brief. I don't know what is going to happen with Ben & I. All I know is that I love him more than anything in this whole world. I would give up every world posession, every friend, anything life can offer, if I can't share life with him. I used to think we could make it through anything. I am not so sure anymore. I am just so sad at the thought of not loving him forever.<P>I was very sad, and felt alone most of the time until I found you guys/gals, but I will have to go it alone now.<P>I wish each of you all the best. Stay safe, my thoughts and prayers are with all of you!!!<BR>

E_W_S,<P>I understand your feelings and reasons for wanting to leave this discussion forum, but I think it is very unfortunate. Your H can have his "girlfriend" but you can't have support/advice from people who could help you. This just doesn't seem right.<P>Only you can decide what is best for you and your marriage. I hope that you are able to return someday without feeling violated at the same time.<P>~Jayhawk

E_W_S...That is sad. It is a shame that people cannot be bigger than their own slefishness and insecurities...that applies on two counts here. Thank you for sharing your pain, I will pray for you. Your life is plenty messed up now, that much is certain. God will not abandon you, trust in him, may he comfort and restore you.<P><B>Ben</B>...if you are reading to understand your wife, then I'd say...you did not have her permission. If you are continuing to attempt to dominate and control her, then you are triply wrong. She seems to care about you a great deal, and you are disrespecting her right to get her ENs cared for by invading her privacy. I do not know either of you, but that does not matter. I hope that you can realize that you are hurting her, and that there is <B>never</B> any justification for that.<P>Having said that, and having been married for 18 years, and understanding that life is complicated, I urge you both to read the materials at this site, and not concentrate your efforts on he said/she said garbage.<P>Marriage is the only defense we have for the immorality that is tearing our society apart. Try to be bigger than that. God bless you, Ben...I know that you care...be a man and show it. Quit being selfish, and return to your marriage. -Mike

Dear Eyes_Wide_Shut,<P>Whatever happens here, please don't end up in isolation from others, ok? You need and DESERVE support for what you are going through. If you can't post here search for other support systems. I hate to think of you going through this alone.<P>All the best to you,<BR>hopefulheart

E_W_S -<P>Not being able to post here would be toooooo controlling. You should be able to post here, and he should be able to handle your feelings - otherwise something is terribly wrong. aftershock

I miss you guys. Funny I can't seem to stay away.<P>Michelle

If you feel like you need to be here, I would encourage you to stay. I know there is a lot of desire to make your husband happy, especially if you want to work on your marriage. But for him to deprive you of this avenue of support is so sad.<P>((((((EWS)))))