Dear friends,<BR> Here is an update in my case. I am at almost the one month mark after being served with divorce papers leaving only one more month until my wife can get the lighting divorce she wants. All this thanks to the convenient No Fault laws here in TX. My wife is extremely determined to get a final decree and won’t even consider a separation. Well, I know how much I hurt her feelings and that would explain it all but all the issues are now identified and I am working on them to be a better person for myself and if it is God’s will, for a reconciliation.<BR> So here is my conflict. The more I treat her nicely the more she reacts with rage and anger. Everyone I tell about my case tells me that she won’t come back. She even resists the idea of ending as friends for the kid’s benefit. The way she treats me is starting to hurt a lot and I am feeling like I don’t want to expose myself to it anymore. How can she treat me like an intruder, like somebody that never meant something? Isn’t she forgetting that we walked down the aisle almost 8 years ago? What about that we had two great kids together? <BR> Also, Should I let go of ALL of ANY hope? She wants to meet today to go over dividing financial assets, should I go or should I avoid being treated like crap again?<BR> Thanks for your support and God bless.<BR>

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I went through the exact same thing last year. It is very hard to know what to do in this situation.<P>If you really want to save your marriage, I suggest reading through Plan A and Plan B. I didn't know about these plans when my x walked out the door and I did everything wrong (according to this site) in trying to keep him from leaving.<P>Maybe these plans can help you. I hope so. In the meantime, I would also keep coming to this site for support. Read through others posts on similar topics and hopefully that will help you through this difficult time.<P>In my case, we were divorced shortly after he left because no matter what I said or tried he just remained very cold and unwilling to try again. So, I moved on. I wasn't happy in our marriage either and felt like maybe it should just end. We fought all the time, the kids saw no affection between us and I felt that it was worse for them to stay together in that situation. And, we had tried for 2 years in counseling to change this but made little progress along the way. However, I never tried the recommendations on this site (I wasn't aware of this site until too late) and wondered if I could have turned things around it I tried. But, it would have been a very difficult road to take and the outcome may still have been the same. I'll never really know for sure. Now, we have an amicable relationship and have been divorced for 1 1/2 yrs. I sometimes wonder if we might get back together one day but the odds are greatly against it now. <P>

Her response is the exact opposite to what you want, but is precisely inline with what is expected. If she did not care, she'd be in withdrawal, not conflict.<P>If she wants a lightning fast D, let her have it. Don't stand in her way. People who have not been there, do not understand, and those that have only understand their side of it. If you choose to oppose it, then do that, but it will seriously hamper your chances at reconciliation.<P>Please understand one thing: she wants to divorce you, and you are not going to change her mind about that overnight. She wants it quickly because she does not trust her resolve. Good, you think, I will shake that resolve...<B>no</B>, you will not. That is not within your power. In my case, it was better to let her have it, and see what the color of the grass on the other side really was. In addition, she lied a great deal about the separation, too (we had no separation, either). She ended it with no integrity, and that is what she is dealing with now. Not too well, I might add.<P>I'm sorry that things are the way that they are, but its time for you to be bigger than you think you can be now. It may take a divorce to save your marriage. Don't give up, just don't fight her now. -Mike

I went through the same thing, I was cut off and treated like I never existed, I was in a daze since I though everything was ok. Well I soon realized that the only person hurting me was myself. For me it was best to stay away and not put myself in a position to let her treat me badly or do things to hurt me. I gave her the quick divorce and settled with her. I kept finacial things bussiness like, I have not had contact for months now and life is better. When the fog lifts I think she will see that the grass is not greener on the other side. The funny thing is sometimes I feel she did me a favor by leaving and treating me this way it has forced me to move on and develop a better life for myself.<P>