Hey everyone---<P>well continuation of my saga---last night we talked on the phone for 8 hours!!!! I am soo confused...he found out someone else asked me out and was really upset, but said he couldn't tell me that I couldn't go (but he said he didn't want me to). I love him soo much. He totally agreed that we connect. He leaves to nyc on Friday...we are supposed to see each other tonight for the last time before he leaves...does this sound like people who just<BR>got divorced??? He said he thinks about me, but is being smart because it's still too soon to tell if they are just feelings that are lingering because its still soo new and he isn't used to being without me. He said only time will tell. He also said that it's everything or nothing with us...he said there is no way we could just be friends because when we start being friends it is inevitable that we will try again because we have this intensity<BR>for each other when we connect. I am just soo scared he will find someone in ny although he says that is not even on his mind (I believe him, but you never know what will happen) <P>What should I do? Should I wait? Just not call him for a while? Go out with someone else? I am soo confused!!!!!<P>Val<P>UPDATE: This was the last time we talked since he moved on Friday...I have no way of contacting him, so it will have to be him...How should I be when he calls? Should I be just friendly? Should I say something specific about still wanting to be with him? He should know this, but I don't know why I think if I don't say it all the time he will forget. HELP!!!!<P><BR>

First of all welcome and so sorry that you have to be here. On the bright side, there are a lot of great people here that have sure helped me. And yes, there are some success stories post divorce.<P>Now, I got a little confused, you'll have to excuse me I'm from Kansas, he is now gone is that correct?<P>You have had your last meeting with him, right? How did that go?<P>I guess that when he calls you just be as sweet as you can be, no pressure. Read stuff on this sight and impliment a "Plan A". Make sure that you don't do any love busting to him on the phone but by the same token no begging either.<P>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers from Kansas<P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

thanks for the encouragement! Yes he left on the 20th...we saw each other the Wednesday before and it was like something out of a bad movie!! Neither of us are good with goodbyes I guess--we were both really edgey...I was extremely weepy which he cant handle...especially when he's feeling emotional as well. I gave him a small going away gift--some pics of my son and me, a journal, etc...he looked at everything and read everthing, but by the time he left we were arguing so badly he kicked the bag on the way out and just left it. My son was screaming "I want my Daddy" it was heart-wrenching...that was the last time we talked...I know that he won't really dwell on that though. Our 9 hour phone conversation the night before was much more meaningful. I haven't talked to him since then. I know he arrived safely (his mom told me) but thats it.<P><BR>I'm just so scared he will find someone else. I don't know why--I mean, I have been asked out several times and I still know he is the one for me, so I dont know why I think I would be replaced so easily. I guess I'm just scared not knowing whats going on in his head!<BR>

Not knowing stinks, doesn't it? Well, sometimes knowing is worse, so try to be a happy mushroom, okay? At least a <B>content</B> one. Learn the difference between being content, and being happy. You will bang the rails until you get a grip on that one, believe me.<P>The 'scene' as he left leads me to believe that you are both still in the conlict stage. You think he is in the withdrawal stage...I'd say he was licking his wounds. Read up on the three stages of marriage on this site.<P>Now is the time to work on yourself...just don't get too caught up in yourself...you may end up bitter, and somewhat self-centered...which won't help anything.<P>God bless you, and your family...be strong, and patient. -Mike

<P>Well he finally called....read my latest post! I am such a mess right now!!

I feel your pain. My wife just left me after 16 years of marriage for something that happen 11 years ago. Its time for you to look deep in your heart and ask yourself Do I want him for his body or do you want him to grow old with. True love will burn the heart when the one you truely love leaves you. You will feel an emptiness that won't go away. Then can you say while your arguing, I love him. I had asked my wife for a divorce 11 years ago because of her drinking and neglecting owr kids. When I told her I wanted a divorce, she went out drinking and drunk she got. She came home and told me I can have the divorce. She tried to kill herself that night. I only stayed for her, but I still loved her. 11 Years later, she leaves me because she can't forgive herself for what she did. Know I'm going threw the same pain all over. I wished I would have divorced her back then, so I wouldn't have to go threw the same pain again. What I'm saying, is your still young and you have a chances for happiness. If you still love him, tell him, If he doesn't want you, then go on with you life. You need to feel good about you and take care of yourself. When God thinks its right for you again, it will hit you so fast.