THE ORIGIN OF THE INTERNET <P>In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. <P>And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. <BR>And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" <P>And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you <BR>have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." <P>Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.<BR> <BR>But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel <BR>dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short. <P>And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would <BR>work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. <P>And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot <BR>replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." <BR>"YAHOO," said Abraham. <P>And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all. <BR>

Three travellers, an American, a Russian and an African, <BR>were all on a world tour in a hot air balloon. <BR>The Russian man puts his hand over the side and feels into the clouds.<BR>"Aaah!" he said, "We're right over my homeland."<BR>"How can you tell?" asked the American.<BR>"I can feel the cold air" he replied.<BR>A few days later the African man put his hand over the <BR>side into the clouds.<BR>"Aaah, we're right over my homeland" he said.<BR>"How do you know that?" asked the Russian.<BR>"I can feel the heat of the Desert."<BR>Several more days later the American put his hand <BR>over the side into the clouds.<BR>"Aaah, we're right over New York." <BR>The Russian and African were amazed.<BR>"How did you know all of that?" They exclaimed.<BR>The American pulled his hand in and held it up for them to see.<BR>"My watch is missing."<BR>

<BR>more funnies please ... loooooooong day

Chemistry 101 <P>A major research institution has recently discovered the heaviest <BR>element known to science. This discovery has been tentatively named <BR>Administratium. It has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic <BR>number of 0. It does however, have 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 <BR>deputy <BR>neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of <BR>312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which <BR>are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. <P>Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be <BR>detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A <BR>minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to <BR>complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has <BR>a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a <BR>reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy <BR>neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, <BR>Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each <BR>reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This <BR>characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that <BR>Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in <BR>concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical <BR>Morass." You will know it when you see it. <P>