My heart goes out to you all that have to continuelly meet with your BS's and discuss matters. We did not have kids so I do not have to meet with ExH on a continual basis. Today we are meeting at his bank to handle the IRS check. Of course his new wife will probably be there. My stomach is all nerves and my shoulder are touching my ears. I hope this is the last time I will have to see him like this. I have not seen them together yet and I do not know what OW even looks like. Any suggestions from anyone?????

Having 3 beautiful girls, I have to see the x atleast 4 times a week. Add to that all the special events that the children have, our daily schedules, and I have contact with x almost daily. I choose to handle it by the mood I'm in and the feelings I have at the time. If I'm kinda sad/mad, I paint my HAPPY face and avoid looking her in the eyes. If I'm happy/strong, I really have no problems, I can just be me. Children or not, seeing your x with another is a tough situation to handle.<P>So I guess you just show up, paint on the happy face, get your business down quickly, and it will all be over with before you know it.<P>(((WHITE DOVE)))<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

I usually see my x three times a week. Because of the children, it is something about which I have no choice. I have to admit that his behavior toward me is generally ok - but there are times....<P>He remarried last fall. I am virtually certain - as certain as anyone can be - that this woman was no where near the picture when x went through his MLC and the marriage disintegrated.<P>If the truth were known, I probably like the new wife much more than I like my x. Even though we are not at all alike. I have come to the conclusion that when x married me he married up and that that was part of the problem. This time I believe he married down.

White Dove, <P>I remember you from the "old days" and I know that those two have been particularly ... well, the word cruel comes to mind. I think this is just one of the wierd steps you have to take in this life--seeing the OW/now new wife. YUCK! I'd say, while you are with them, conduct yourself with the utmost dignity--after all, you have done well for yourself BY YOURSELF, and you deserve respect for that. I'd also say speak to them only as much as you need to--no need to try to be "friendly" or "chatty", but answer direct questions and stuff. Last but not least, always, always always remember that you are the one who was faithful. It's not a ton (I know!), but you still have your integrity in tact, and that is a little something. Do not let yourself get sucked into anything other than doing the business you are going to accomplish (in other words, don't say any snide remarks or demeaning comments). Just keep it to yourself, do what you need to do, and get outta there!<P>Now, after the formalities are said and done, and you have been a perfectly civil and mature adult, you are likely to feel either HUGE relief or a HUGE trigger. If you feel a huge relief, come back and tell us and we will party with you that you are healing. If you feel a huge trigger (which is what I bet you'll feel), then come back here with your hurting heart and pour it all out on the forum, so we can hug you, support you, and tell you what a wonderful person you are. Okay? <P>{{{Trs}}}<P><BR>CJ<P><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.