Please reference my original post, 'Is this situation Unique'if you haven't already. Then you will know where I am coming from on this post.<BR> Maybe I didn't put this out previously, but my wife said she felt like she was trapped with me, so I implemented the Dobson "tough love, setting free" plan first of all. I just basically told her she was free. She said she appreciated it very much and it was a beautiful gesture. At the time I think she might have perceived it as just talk or a trick.<BR> The past two days I have been just as pleasant to her as possible without clinging to her or talking about our relationship. I have not called her once or attempted to change the conversation when she has called me; I just let her initiate everything and I am sweet and supportive of her.<BR> Unbelievably, she won't leave me alone now. Last night when I got home from work, she asked me where I was because she called my cubicle a few times and nobody answered. She said she wanted to know if I wanted to go out with her last night after I got home (WHAT???). I told her "No, I'm kinda tired" and then made my bed on the couch. She sat down beside me and we talked for about an hour. She thanked me for "understanding her and being so nice" the last couple of days. She asked what I had been doing and I told her I have been reading a lot about relationships and I think I have learned a lot about what I have not given her during our marriage.<BR> She said "what is that?" and I told her that we didn't sit around and just talk like we were doing now, I didn't treat her like an adult, I was sarcastic and condescending, and I tried to control her too much. She said "you've really learned a lot. I can't believe it." <BR> Anyway, we said good night and that was it. This morning she went to work (I was off) and I took the kids to daycare. She asked me to stop by her job and get her check and cash it for her and pay her car payment for her. I did this and when I got there she just smiled and said "Hi there....how are you?" It was the first time she had talked that nice and genuine in months. Before, every time she would see me she would just glance at me and say "Hey." When I left to run the errand for her, as I was walking out the door she said "you look good" and smiled. I just said, very casually, "thank you, so do you" and strolled out. I waited until I got out of her sight to smile.<BR> Also, after I brought her change back from her paycheck to her, she would not let me leave. The first time I tried to leave I just smiled and said bye and as I was going out the door she asked me what I was doing today? I told her I was going to hang out with a female friend (really, just someone to talk to) but I didn't know where. Then I tried to leave again and she asked me some meaningless question and I stayed another couple of minutes to talk to her. Then as I tried to leave she said something else that kept me there. Finally, I said "I really have to go, she is expecting me." I just smiled and said bye and casually walked out.<BR> I had to come to my second job at 6pm and she actually just called me a few minutes ago. She actually interupted my train of thought for this post. She asked what I did today and I told her we just went to the movies. She actually asked me if I kissed my female friend! Can you believe it? I said "No, why do you ask that?" and she said "I don't know, I just wanted to know."<BR> Then she went on to tell me that her and her friends are going out to eat. The past few months she would never tell me anything about her plans because she thought I was intruding if I even asked about where she was going and she definitely never called me just to talk. She never tried to make me stay just by saying or asking something trivial and she was never this nice. I am really weirded out. <BR> I don't mean to get my hopes up, but if this works out in my favor, I'd have to say Dr. Dobson and Dr. Harley are geniuses. I am still playing it really cool and acting as if her plan to leave me is still in effect. <BR> Oh yeah, she asked me last night if "we" should buy a house instead of her renting another apartment. A big slip on her part but I didn't make a big deal out of it. I just said "why should I help pay for a house I'm never going to live in" and she said "come on, you never know."

I have also given my H the Dobson letter, and I KNOW it has made him think..you never know, you and I may be on a good thing here!!!! But remember, you have to outwardly show you are letting go, even when the chips are down.. Lots of tongue biting, even with mutual friends...you never know who she is talking to !!!<P>Good luck!

Glad to hear the Dobson letter has potential. I truly hope it pans out for you. I guess I oinknowlingly gave a 'Dobson' speech to my wife just before I moved out, at her request. Separated two weeks now. Considering sending a letter too. Hard to know best course of action, but your experience is encouraging.<P>I hope you find peace and love.

Good Man,<P>That's GREAT news. Keep it up! I think you're on track!<P>-AD