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Joined: Dec 2000
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My husband and I are going through a divorce and his birthday is on Friday? Although we aren't getting along the greatest and he can be such a jerk at times, I wanted to find out if it would be proper or right to call and leave a Happy Birthday voicemail? My birthday is in Sept., so I can't tell you what he did. My guess is he wouldn't call. It is just in my nature to be nice to those who are having a birthday and I would just be trying to be nice. Although I don't want to steer him in the wrong direction, thinking maybe she is changing her mind about things. So if someone could help me out, that would be great. I want to prevent myself from ending up in a bad situation whether I say Happy Birthday or not. Thanks.<BR>
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Joined: Sep 2000
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LA,<P>Gestures of good will are always appropriate. But skip the voice mail. A simple card, not too mushy, sent sincerely, will send the right message.<P>Prayers and stuff,<P>Bumper
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Or an email would be okay, very simple.
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Joined: Sep 2000
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LA,<P>According to the Emily Post book of Divorce Etiquette (haha--no such thing!!)...<P>I agree with Bumper on this one. Kind acts are always appropriate. A nice card without overwhelming smooshy or romantic overtones would be fine--maybe a humorous card! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif) However, I will warn you against one thing. Do not send a card with the expectation that you will get any appreciation for it--just send a card because sending the card brings you happiness. Know what I mean? No ulterior motives and no disguised messages, just a courteous and polite gesture. <P>CJ<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
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Joined: May 2000
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I will add one thing further.<P>If you have children, make sure they do something for him. Card - which they can make or buy- and a gift. You can even go the gift certificate route. Or they can pick it out. I usually set the price limit and let my children select. Sometimes they do ok and sometimes it's really bizarre - like the Father's Day when he got a disposable camera, a small candle, and a bag or Oreos.<BR>
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Joined: Jun 2000
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Welp .. here's my 2 cents.<P>When my H was Divorcing me he sent me a BDay card and a present. The present was something non-romantic but was something only he would know I like. <P>To receive it gave me false hope. It made me hurt pretty bad for a couple days. It made me think for one, he remembered my BDay (the fog was very thick), and two H went to the trouble to send a card and thoughtful gift. I thought he was thinking about not D me afterall.<P>Now when I read your post I thought "YES", she should send a card, but then I remembered how I felt when my H did it. <P>Jo<P>
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Joined: Dec 2000
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FYI-<P>No Children in the picture fortunately.<P>Thanks for your response.
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Joined: Dec 2000
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I might just send an email. The consensus seems to be that you should keep it light, simple and nothing extravagent. I just thought it might be nice, but again I don't want him to think that there is something more than a quick Happy Birthday. I just know that getting Happy Birthdays in general can sometimes be nice to hear from anyone. (even if it is from the person who you are getting a divorce from) <P>I still would love to hear peoples thoughts about what they have done, but I think I will just send a brief Happy Birthday email. I won't expect any appreciation and I hope I don't stir anything up.<P>Thanks,<BR>LA
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