<BR>May have committed a non-verbal LB tonight. I went to the house to pick up my son to take him to a ballgame. Mom was upstairs in what was our bedroom (we have been separated 2 weeks, she is in house with kids). Wanted to tell her i was there, and that we were leaving for the game. Walked into the room.<P>I played a sport in college and I had a number of old team pics and awards etc. on the wall. She had taken them all down, taken nails out of the wall. I did not say anything, in fact was not all that surprised, expected she would do it someday, I would probably do the same. At least she did not cut my head out of them (at least not that I know).<P>Anyhow, something must have been written all over my face, because she said "you look strange, is anything wrong?" I put on my nest Plan A face, thanked her for idea and chance to take son to the game an unplanned outing for us), and we left.<P>I don't know why it impacted me so, but it really hurt to see those pics down. More rejection. Little thing, big impact.<P>All was well when we got back from game-she was in bed, but came down to say hello, walked me to the door. She was in her nightgown, looked fantastic. More hurt, of a different kind.<P>I am just in week 2 of Plan A, and the good advice I have gotten here is patience, and do not try to understand and analyze her every word. I am trying, but it's not easy.

I don't have good words of advice for you tonight, but just a soul-weary, "I understand." <P>My H is living in what was our house with the kids, and I have moved out--hopefully temporarily. I come back almost every day to visit and hang out with the family and with him, but it hurts me every time I come over and he has rearranged the kitchen or put his clothes in my drawers--it's like there's no room for me anymore, and where I was and where there were signs of me and memories of me are being covered up. Slowly but surely, I am being erased until one day, there won't be any sign of me at all.<P>I know I chose to move out, to protect myself and stuff, but it just feels yucky. Like you, I try to be upbeat on the outside while my inside feels "replaced". <P>Like I said, no good advice really. I just really understand. Group hugs!!! {{{ANB3}}}<P><BR>CJ<P><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

ANB3 & Faithful:<BR>Just a note that I understand the situation a little better than you two do as I am in the same situation but opposite. I am the one in the "family" home with the kids. I have a vacant hole where my spouse used to be. Even tho things are getting better between us, I have this void inside me. But 'nuf about that. <P>ANB3: I don't know your whole story (if you posted before with the story I didn't see it - honestly I didn't look either). While I am not a shrink I think that your wife is trying to fill a hole. While it may not be the best way to do it, she may be trying to hide the pain of you not being there by "completely" removing memories of you in "her" world. <P>Cudos tho to you for not LB'ing the situation and to her for being civil when you dropped Junior off. IT can be difficult to NOT analyze every word and action. Keep up the good work.<P>Faithful: All of us on MB hope your situation is only temporary. I feel I know your H better than you do because I truly am in his situation. Again, I am not a shrink and don't play one on TV, but I can only guess that his actions of moving things around are not spiteful or mean, just ignorance of your feelings about how it might look that kitchen stuff is moved... I would think that he would like to know how you feel about this. I would also think that his actions are also motivated by the hole in his soul that you are not there.<P>Both of you take a breather and take care of yourselves. All my best wishes, hopes and prayers that everything works out for the best.<P>HowlingAlone<P> <p>[This message has been edited by HowlingAlone (edited August 02, 2001).]

Faithful and HowlingAlone<P>Sorry HowlingAlone, I have to disagree with some parts of your reply to Faithful. I think its planned on his part. <P>I don't want to steal the post from ANB3. Faithful, could you start a new thread so we can discuss?<P>To ANB3. I did the same thing to my vstbx. After about a month of her being gone witht he kid I took all of her pictures down from the walls. I placed a few 8x5 in frames in my daughters bedroom for her to have. but all of hers/our pictures are down. When she walk in a few days after I had done this I got the same look from her that you must of had on your face. I thought it (the look) was a surprised that you did that look. I will add that it may have had a bit of fear in there too.<P>Tex. <BR>