Should this tell me my husband is having an affair?<P>My husband who has been gone one month from the house (he walked out) comes to the house to get a part off our lawn mower to fix. <P>He starts getting verbally ugly with me (as usual) and I told him I wasn't going to argue with him. He said something I didn't like, and I told him that we were still married. His response is "No we are not". I then said to him "yes, we are. I haven't seen any divorce papers". He said that when he has the money he will get one.<P>He starts to take something again from the house, and I say to him, go ahead and take it, I have pictures. (I don't know why I said that - just that he has been taking things from the house right and left)<P>Anyway, all he heard was the PICTURES word, and he starts asking me about the pictures, and what kind of pictures do I have. He says, "What of me working, on the phone - what".<P>He wants to see the pictures. He starts acting kinda weird at this point, so I just give him this smile and look like "ok buster - your busted". (By the way - the only pictures I have are of things at my own house)<P>I just stared at him, and didn't say anything. He starts to leave, and then comes back and says "I have pictures too". <P>Well about 1/2 later I have to take my daughter to cheerleading. My son tells me that his dad calls right after I left and started asking him what pictures I have. Asking my son if he has seen me with a camera, and if I leave late at night to go anywhere. That if I do go out, will my son call him on his cell phone and tell him. (Is that paranoid or what?) <P>This phone call to my son has me now feeling like my husband really may be having an affair. <P>I got a page from him later stating that he wants to get a mediator because they are cheaper and he will give me anything I want. He just wants out of this marriage. <P>Now he has only been gone for 1 month. He is really pushing me to get a divorce. I mean almost 17 years married, and bam! He wants out. <P>Does what I describe above about the pictures thing sound like maybe there is OW? <P>

I hate to say it, but ooohhhh yeah!<P>Howver, you seem to have suspected this all along, so there are probably more clues in your memory bank that will point to it. <P>Lots of people here say that most people who leave are going bcause they are aleady having an affair. I don't know where this information comes from, but it seems right to me. It's hurtful, I know.<P>I also suspect that my h is having an affair, (and I found little clues added up when I thought about it). He's also been gone a month and after one week said he wanted a divorce.

Bladybug - sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he is doing something that he doesn't want you to know about. Probably an affair. Involving your son is terrible. How dare he? That is extremely selfish on his part. Him saying that you can have everything sounds like my STBX when I didn't know about affair. I think you should take that offer now before the guilt wears a little thin, and he decides (with the help of OW) that he wants what he can get from the divorce settlement. I know that it hurts right now, but do you really think you can forgive him? Really, really without ever wondering and maybe when things don't go too well throw it in his face? You need not to fight the thought of what is happening now, it is happening whether you like it or not. Yes you can try to Plan A and Plan B him, but that takes a lot out of a person - believe me. And it is not fool proof but it can work. You have to decide what you want, and be willing to go for it. Good luck.