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#69867 05/20/99 02:49 PM
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frankie Offline OP
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do any of you ever feel a link to someone on this board. you know, like you start wondering about things. i do. this sounds like a taboo.<BR>anyone care to jump on this with me?

#69868 05/20/99 05:54 PM
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What kind of things? I feel a link with some of people on this forum, especially the ones who seem to have had similar experiences to my own.

#69869 05/21/99 07:23 AM
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frankie Offline OP
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i'll tiptoe around this and we'll see who's brave enough to push the envelope. what things. whatever things. i, for one, wonder how i would match up with some of the other posters. i mean, after reading a lot of stuff about them, i start thinking, yea, i like this or that about the poster.

#69870 05/21/99 08:35 AM
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OK, frankie, sounds like perhaps you're having, or considering having, an emotional affair with someone on these boards.<P>How about coming clean?

#69871 05/21/99 11:10 AM
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frankie Offline OP
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have you ever had one of those experiences like wearing a dark blue suit, and peeing in your pants. you get a warm feeling and no one notices.<BR>

#69872 05/21/99 11:20 AM
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Frankie.....<P> What are you trying to say? Or ask? Is it that have you ever felt close to a person on line of the oppisite sex? Or is there someone in this forum you feel connected to? You have to be more specific. Thanks

#69873 05/22/99 12:35 AM
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frankie Offline OP
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i know i'm being evasive about myself but i wanted to get a thread going on this. i thought if i felt this way perhaps others did too. actually, i do feel a certain emotional link to certain people on this board. on the other hand, i've come to ovoid certain others. i can see vague lines drawn between certain groups. i suppose it's only natural. for example, the really religious members seems to like sharing their thoughts. i like to read all responses but i feel something, a certain closeness with a few others. do you.

#69874 05/22/99 12:51 AM
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Frankie -<BR>Maybe its because people here at this site are basically trying to "build marriages" or seek to find out if their marriage is workable, etc., as opposed to the partner or other person (not on this site) who isn't the willing one. We, the ones here, are the willing people, the workable people and therefore; probably have much more in common. As for me, I'm the nice one, the sucker for punishment, the one who wants a good marriage and not just a hum-glum one (like I have) - and we're seeking information from people such as you and others who have such similar and common problems. I feel close to some of the people here because unlike my husband, the one who should be my best friend, the people here LISTEN to me and OFFER advice and help. My husband doesn't.

#69875 05/21/99 02:22 PM
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Cndy......<P> Well I am the one who wants out of my marriage. But I come in here to see how many people have feelings like mine.And also its nice to feel I am not alone. As for trying to work things out LOL been there done that I feel its to late. Two years enough time don't ya all think? Take care all.

#69876 05/21/99 02:34 PM
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Wonder - <BR>I want out of my marriage too - but I want it easy, without hurt or pain, and that can't happen. I have children involved. I have a home and a family that I fear ripping apart at the seams. I want my kids, my home, my stability, and a marriage - just not the guy I'm with. But wanting out isn't enough, because with it comes the hurt and pain the children will bear and I can't force myself to get rid of my misery at the cost of hurting my kids.

#69877 05/21/99 02:37 PM
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<BR>[This message has been edited by Shoni (edited May 26, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by Shoni (edited May 26, 1999).]

#69878 05/21/99 03:05 PM
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frankie Offline OP
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thanks for all the responses. cndy, you're right, we do share the fact that we're the ones activly seeking insight and help. i was the unfaithful one but i'm the one doing all the soul searching.<BR>wonder, sounds like you've made up your mind. i like that. clarity of thought must be like the song, i can see clearly now the rain is gone. i sense you'll be happier soon. you've got a certain resolve. i hope you go for it. it's about time you had some fun. i hope you keep us posted.<BR>cndy, i used to tell my psychologist that i couldn't tell my w the truth because it would break her heart. he told me that that's what people do. i can see how you're kinda locked in because of the children and the house and all. my retirement played a decisive role my going back with my wife. i couldn't see spending all that money for the rest of my life to someone i wasn't living with. i'll many marriage last as long as they do because of simalar materal concerns, as well as concern for the children.<BR>shoni, i honestly do not feel a sexual connection and feel i'm looking for one here. on the other hand, i have started thinking i would like more to be with this or that member based on what i've read here and how my imagination has filled in the gaps. it's an emotional connection.

#69879 05/21/99 06:33 PM
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Frankie,<P>I don't think you're out of line at all. We're dealing with some pretty emotional and personal stuff here and to find like-minded souls would naturally, I think, enable you to make a connection.<P>I travel in fits and spurts and have wondered what it would be like to meet a familiar poster for a friendly cup of coffee in the cities on my itinerary like Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, L.A. the U.K. France, Germany and well you get the picture.<P>You got guts pal. I like the way you lay it on the line.<P>By the way have a quick response on the health club analogy. Have a great weekend!

#69880 05/21/99 10:54 PM
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Frankie and Cndy.......<P> Cndy thats how I feel just like you. I want my kids happy and the family and marriage just not to the one I am married to. Frankie dear yes the back of my mind I can feel that would be my best decision. But have to work on things. Like Cndy its scary seeing you have house steady income etc and then not having all that well maybe having it but differntly. We kind of had a long discussion tonight and alot came out. Most of it hurtful things again. But when we both admit we are not IN LOVE with each other somethings got to give right? Kind of like CNDY to pray everynight that God will show me the best way to be happy again. But so far nothing just more emptyness. I feel hes in pain to and told him tonight maybe you just need to go out and find another that knows you as you are now not who you were. Its so hard all I am at wits end anymore.

#69881 05/23/99 12:35 AM
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Hey Frankie,<P>I am away for the weekend in nYC , and I met a women that I have cinnected with on anither board.......we met for drinks and talked and laughed for hours,it was a trip! Fun to met someone fom the internet! I totally understand what you are indicating about connecting with people on here.....btw, I am typing worse than usual, because I am using a laptop and I am not nused to it! <BR>Ok, i AM REALLY CURIOUS??? who is it?????/ LOL,LOL

#69882 05/22/99 08:53 PM
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<BR><p>[This message has been edited by TD (edited May 23, 1999).]

#69883 05/23/99 07:12 AM
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Welcome back dlara<BR>I think that would be fun too. Glad you had fun in ny. <BR>Ok Frankie you got the floor. HA!<BR>didi

#69884 05/23/99 02:43 PM
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Hey guys, I am back! Fortunately back on my computer also! That last post was ridiculous! I cannot deal with the laptop yet, but I will get it right someday!!! <BR>As I was trying to say in a literate way was that it was great to meet someone that I have communicated with online.......basically started on message boards. Her husband was afraid and mine was not thrilled about it, but they don't understand the type of connection that can be made on the computer. I would never have understood prior to doing it either, so I understand. Anyway, frankie, there is no doubt that interest and likes/or dislikes can be developed for all of us with people that we have read for awhile......and it seems only natural to me that thinking about the other posters, (males in my case), and what they might be like, etc. is also natural. The other factor here is that it seems that most of us that have been posting regularly here are sexual and passionate people......therefore....human nature is always a factor!

#69885 05/24/99 07:38 AM
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frankie Offline OP
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it doesn't matter if there is one in particular, i mean there is but what's the point of revealing the name? i'm concerned about the repercussion. but i've come to really enjoy you:<BR>didi, dlara, wonder, shoni, cndy, managing. i like all of you. i think we share good communications and have a certain outlook in common. i look forward to reading your posts and responses. and too, my imagination must fill in the voids. what i don't know, i imagine favorably.

#69886 05/24/99 06:17 PM
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Good response Frankie,<P>I enjoy every one on here also. It's good to share our feelings. Thanks Also, Frankie for saying you will try the pretend and maybe the rest will come. My h and I had a good weekend. We laugh and say we are going to try to get the romance back. But you see, for him he doesn't think it's gone. It's just the sexual part thats missing. So I am going along again in my little 'gidget'way (he likes that) and maybe he will come around to the mature aspect. Anyway we'll see. and GOOD LUCK to all!<P>didi

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