We've had a lot of stories recently about how tough it is to execute plan A- to smile, to agree, etc. - so, here's a quick good plan A moment.<P>I got a call from my wife- she had locked her keys in her trunk, and wanted to know if the hidden key to our (my) house was still available (she thought she still had a spare car key somewhere in the house).<P>Based on where she was, where our house is, and where I am, I told her to sit tight, I could be there in 10 minutes to use my spare, which was less than half the time it would take her to walk home (in 98 degree heat and humidity), look for the keys (which might not be there), walk back, etc. So, that's what I did. She thanked me, I told her it was no problem (which it wasn't), she gave me a hug and... a six-pack of Sam Adams Boston Lager.<P>As the subject line says, it ain't all bad.

Way to go dabigtrain, you did the right thing. My wife hasn't left yet but I'm putting plan A in full force. The trick is to remain above it all. Here's to you and Sam Adams. Cheers.<P>Hang Ten

I think that's just great...you are getting a few opportunities to try out Plan A, so you are doing so well!!!<P>How is it today...I was thinking of you today when my kids were being more than their usual selves (if you know what I mean) and I thought how quiet your house must sound to you. My kids have been a big part of what has kept me going, and I just think you're doing so well on your own.<P>One time we split for three weeks before we were married, and I spent the whole time staring into space. But then, I didn't have this site, or the kids.<P>So, keep it up, and yes it is hard, nut the little rewards along the way boost the enthusiasm to keep going.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR>How is it today...I was thinking of you today when my kids were being more than their usual selves (if you know what I mean) and I thought how quiet your house must sound to you. My kids have been a big part of what has kept me going, and I just think you're doing so well on your own.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I was glum again this morning. Right now, I have the kids- monday afternoon through wednesday morning, and alternate weekends. So, this morning was the first morning since the move that they slept here. Mornings aren't easy at my house- I'm an early riser, and my wife, daughter, and son all move a little more slowly. So, it wasn't much fun waking them up and doing everything alone this morning. There are reasons why two-parent families work better, you know?<P>But we got moving, they got to daycare, things we're all bad. It's going to be quiet again wednesday and thursday.<BR>One day at a time.

Yeah I know that feeling. Losthusband often posts "Two steps forward, one step back". That's how it is with us BS's!! At least you get to have the kids overnight some of the time. My h doesn't seem to want that, and the accomodation he picked doesn't suit that arrangement anyway.<P>Take care.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR>Losthusband often posts "Two steps forward, one step back". <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, that describes yesterday- I was feeling alright, until last night. At bedtime, my daughter started crying over the fact that her old clock radio was now at mom's house, and she didn't like the new one I got her, because it wasn't like the old one. And then, the killer: "I wish you and Mom were back together. I don't feel safe with only one parent." It took her a long time to calm down from that- I comforted her as best I could. I wanted to say "I wish we were too," but I don't want to turn them against her. I told her I was sad too, that it was alright for her to tell me or Mom she's sad, that it's better to tell us that than to bottle it up, and that she still had two parents and always would.<P>Yesterday was the first day since the move that they didn't actually see my wife- she called at dinnertime to say good night, but didn't come over. She'll pick them up from daycare this afternoon, and then I don't plan to go over there tonight. We'll see what happens then. I guess I should talk to my wife about what Rose said before then.<P>

dabigtrain - you did so well with what you told your daughter. Congratulations!!

Thanks, "cindy" - I can't tell you how much a small pat on the back means to me in the middle of this mess- but since you've been through it, I assume you already know.

Here, then...have another DBT...bravo, man! Plan A by the book! I have noticed something, however...in my case. When I do that...she later stomps on something, and I would LB...thereby negating my earlier success. I don't see you doing that, but I wanted to offer up my mistake...so you could avoid it. God bless. -Mike

Thanks, Mike- glad to have you back on the board.

Yes, I've been told about that, too. You do something good, and theyfind something to stomp you with. It's their way of justifying their behaviour and trying to show that you haven't changed. Don't fall for it.

Train, your kids are truly fortunate to have such a great Dad.<P>Hard to know the right thing to say to them.<P>I had a good friend call last weekend while kids were here. I let loose a little on the phone and cried some, as one of the kids walked in (it's a small apartment). I then thought 'I'm sure they'll tell Mom that Dad was crying last night' - last thing I want her to know. So, should I ask them not to say anything? I decided not to do that-I don't want them in the middle of anything.<P>Too bad our W's can't see that are not completely worthless.<P>Keep it up big guy.