Just a poll. Was wondering how many here had their WS File for D during the A. Also, if you would offer whether you are the H or W please.<P>My H was the WS, he filed for D and said it was due to the pressure of OW. That she thought it inappropriate and immoral to sleep with a seperated married man. And she was going to get a BF if he stayed married.<P>LMAO! Now ... it was okay for her to "Boink" him while we were still living together, but abso F'ing lutely NOT when seperated. He had to be D to "Boink" her now. <P>Interesting how she took that moral stand when she did, isn't it??? ughhh "Manipulation at it's finest"<P>My H is so stoooopid! Sorry .. I'm really in a mood today.<P>Jo<P>------------------<BR>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

WS XW filed for D.

I am the H and my WS filed for D. She filed after 3 months of counselling; I discovered her OM day after she filed. A had been going on for maybe 2 years (old HS flame). She is 42 and I later found out she had crush on this guy going back to age 15 or 16.<P>Total lack of maturity, depth and durability on her part.

I am the H and my WS filed for D. She filed after 3 months of counselling; I discovered her OM day after she filed. A had been going on for maybe 2 years (old HS flame). She is 42 and I later found out she had crush on this guy going back to age 15 or 16.<P>Total lack of maturity, depth and durability on her part.<P>It's a shame she couldn't come clean about A in counselling, it was a "going through the motions" thing for her and she used the counselor to validate her reasoning to me and secure separation. STBXW and D now live 3 hours away. STBXW has purchased new condo with OM (a HS dropout, both of us professionals).

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Resilient:<BR><B> That she thought it inappropriate and immoral to sleep with a seperated married man. <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>A twist on that story: my ex's OW was not actually divorced from her third (third? ) H and my ex told her she had to get a divorce or they would have to break up (this after "going with her" for the last two years, year one while still married to me, but I digress... LOL... and so she got the divorce, pronto.<P>Then he dumped her.<P>He's such a piece of work.<P>I filed for the divorce, by the way.

I am the H she filed. I counterfiled. She became a Christain because he brought her to God and he and her decided that they would be living in sin and could not get on with their lives until she filed for divorce. HAHAHAHAHAHA> Any way now it is over she talks of wanting to reconcile but I have moved on after 2 years and am getting married. Too late honey. <P>

I filed. Im the H. W/s had 2nd affair in our marriage. This with a co worker at school they teach at (yes, both are teachers, what does that say about public education). I filed for D after using Plan A. She refused to give up OM. Refused to go to counselling. Telling me several times she wanted a divorce and then doing nothing. Asking me to move out. Showing no remorse for her A or the way she treated me. Advising me she didnt love but me loved OM and he loved her. Refusing to work on our marriage and family. Teling me and showing me she had no respect for me. But she did want to stay together for financial reasons and for the kids. Yes, it seems Im in the minority here. Im the B?S who filed for divorce from W/S. See my post on what do you tell people.

Hi Resilient,<BR>I am the W. H was the WS. I filed after 1 1/2 yrs of seperation with no interest on H part to reconcile. Just couldn't take the limbo anymore. H was in no hurry to procede with Divorce until when/if he ever wanted to remarry. He had no problem living as a single man indefinately while still married to me. And he says that he does not see himself ever remarrying-just tired of being a husband and father. He also wanted to avoid the cost and trouble that the process of divorcing would entail. Plus, if I am around in some way, he feels he has me as a back up if he needs it. I am against divorce, but finally felt I did not have a choice if I was going to maintain any self-worth and dignity. I think filing has even improved H respect for me. Weird isn't it?<BR>Lisa <P>------------------<BR>Character is determined by what you do when no one is watching.

<P>I am the H ws filed the week she left moved in with man 1 month later said she couldn't do anything with him until divorce was fianl, because that would be cheating LOL, He is not divorced yet LOL but I guess it is ok with her if he is cheating.<BR>

My H, the WS, filed immediately after introducing the OW to four of our six kids, six weeks after moving out suddenly. It has been 2.5 years since he left, and 7 months since the divorce was final.<P>He used to be a good man and a loving father. Now he allows the OW to limit his time with the kids to 12 hours a month.<P>Everyone said it would get easier. They were wrong.

Got story similar to Tater_tot's myself.<P>WS XW filed for divorce when she thought she would get our daughter. My mom pulled the same crap on my dad and took us two brothers and married OM. There was no way I was going to endure a repeat with my daughter. XW got Christianity and is really into being a "Christian". (she did a little before, but has pretty much turned into a bible thumper) The OM and her go to church frequently. She studies the bible. She was trying to lecture me about being a Christian. Gosh, brain warp, fog insanity. I lean towards deism and atheism myself. Do I cheat, hell no. That would be IMMORAL. OM cheated on my XW while she was cheating on me. LOL!!! Hmmm... XW is still seeing OM and he is no longer (supposedly) seeing OW. Let's see. Cheaters happily going to church? SEE, church is a place for sinners... She now drinks wine (a lot I think) and rides motorcycles with him. She would have NEVER done this before. She's just going through the paces to be with him. He is a smooth-talker. He better keep it up and increase it now or she'll snap out of it eventually or stay miserable. She's miserable now and still tries to blame me. Whatever, I just walk away. I've put up with my share of crap to this point. I KNOW I did everything I could. <P>But hey, I'm gone. I have my daughter, a great place to live, an awesome job, and soon, a new automobile. Now, where's Ms. Right? I'm getting pretty okay with the idea of being single now, but a female companion would be really nice.<P>Kevin<p>[This message has been edited by father of 1, husband of 0 (edited August 07, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nellie1:<BR><B>My H, the WS, filed immediately after introducing the OW to four of our six kids, six weeks after moving out suddenly. It has been 2.5 years since he left, and 7 months since the divorce was final.<P>He used to be a good man and a loving father. Now he allows the OW to limit his time with the kids to 12 hours a month.<P>Everyone said it would get easier. They were wrong. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Nellie,<P>I am so sorry for your situation. I can't believe your H is not participating in your children's lives anymore than 12 hours a month. Good Lord! He is missing out and will truly regret it.<P>You must be one very strong woman. <P>And I agree with you about things getting easier, seems to take a long time I guess. I have been seperated 15 mos and D 2 mos. I am still very emotional. Just know you are not alone.<P>God Bless you, Hon.<P>Jo<P>

My WS is filing for divorce, though she cannot afford to file at the moment. As far as the children are conserned, I may have not been a "good" father for 2 of the past 3 years, but this last year I have really opened my eyes and realized these are my children, I am their father. And the last thing I will ever let anyone do is to tell me I have to limit my time with them.

Thanks, Jo. I don't know if he will regret it - he seems to be able to completely turn off his emotions most of the time. Every once in awhile he looks so sad, especially when our oldest daughters are mentioned. Neither of them are talking to him, and one of them hasn't spoken to him since he left.<P>Sometimes I wonder if those who appear to "get over" a relationship quickly are just delaying the pain..<P>

I'm the BS. H left in November and started pushing me to do a disoolution. I stood my ground on wanting to fix our marriage. H sued me for a divorce in February. I agreeed to a dssolution in APril-since financially I could not do the divorce. Court date was on our 7t anniv. exactly-June 18th-Ex H married OW less than two weeks after. Have not heard from the old him since November-unless it has to do with business-which usually is intitiated by me-he's a bum and immature.....

I filed for divorce 2 affairs in one year were enough for me. I am the BS.

My XW...walked away and filed...it has to be a record...no separation...he spent the night the first night she stayed in her new apartment...did anyone hear a foghorn just now?

I am also a BS. My H moved out, lying about the fact that was an OW, but I had already discovered who she was. I got an attorney right away, and had to file (with adultery and desertion as grounds) in order to gain sole possession of the house, and to secure temporary spousal support. He dragged his feet for over two years (I think he was not yet ready to marry her). We had no kids, so he could have finalized the divorce after six months. However, he blamed all the delays on me. He finally agreed to settle 2.5 years after he moved out. He finalized the divorce and married the OW four months later. He keeps insisting to everyone how happy he is. We'll see...l...

Jilly, you are right two is two too many. Once bitten twice shy.

I am the BS. I refused to file for D, so Ex-W filed after she moved out (moved all of her stuff into a rental, and then stayed with OM. What a waste of money.) After about 1 1/2 months, she finally moved all of her stuff into the OM house.<P>Griz