Hi guys,<P>well, after the turmoil of having her speak to my children in my home, I finally decided what I would do.<P>I let it rest for a couple of days, so I didn't say anything in anger, but I finally said something to him.<P>This was after debating whether to call her direct and speak to her. I decided against that. This is about my children, and any matters regarding my children should be discussed with their father first.<P>So I gently reminded him that this was my home, and my time with the girls, and any conversations she had with the girls in my home was an invasion of my home, my space, and my privacy. (I didn't say all those words exactly but he got the picture!!!)<P>He of course replied with all the usual bluster, "well, she's only spoken twice on the phone to them, she knows her place" yada yada yada....<P>I let him support her, but again gently reminded him that she was not welcome to speak to them when they were in my home. This is my home, and I don't want her here in any way, shape, or form. Even if it is the telephone. I asked him to do the right thing, and say she was busy, or she was out, or 'something'. (My eldest d asked to speak to her one time her Dad rang, and he went and got her to speak on the phone!!)<P>I do like the fact that they get on with their Dad's new gf, and that they feel comfortable going to his house, but she does not need to be here in my life. She needs to respect the 'divorce boundaries'.<P>Then again, this is the person that knew me, and worked with me, but didn't think I should know she was dating my husband!!!!! Albeit separated at the time!!!<P>arrrgggghhh, don't want to go THERE tonight!!!<P>Just thought I'd let you know what I did to address the issue.<P>hope you all have a lovely day<P>hugs to you all<P>Jo

(((((jo)))))))<P>Longtime no see. I missed your other post, I don't get here much anymore.<P>The OW has spoken to my kids several times, and my ex has put her on the phone too. He plays games though. It started with him saying at the end of his call ...OW says hi, or want to talk to OW. Then the pattern began. I don't like it and I never thought of it as invading my home. I like that.<P>I'm going to have a talk with him about it soon.<P>They are getting married next April though, and she will be their step mom, STILL , no reason for her to talk to them when they are here. Plus, in my opinion, the kids are MINE and EXH's, NOT HERS, and I do try to "get along" at times, but I'm not making this a threesome in raising the kids.<P>She used to go to the kids school functions only 5 months after kids' dad left. To me, very inappropriate. <P>Oh well, hope you are doing well, hugs, Dana<BR>

Hey Dana,<P>good to talk to you too. It's been a while girl.... I couldn't get on the computer this week due to work commitments.<P>From where I stand, OP or Step parents, need to respect the 'divorce' boundaries. I don't make trouble for ex-H and gf, I don't call him unless it is about the children which is just about never, and accordingly she has no right to speak to them when they are in my home. She has no say in what they do, or how they are brought up. That is between me and their father. And we seem to be doing quite well without her input!!!<P>I do appreciate the fact that they like her, better 'that' than someone who is mean to them and hates them, but all the same, I don't want her speaking to them while they are at home. Our home. My home. Added to this is the fact that I used to work with this girl. We socialised together(albeit on a very casual basis) when **I** was with my h. When he was mine, but now he is *hers*!!!! Makes for a very awkward and yucky situation!!!<P>I think the boundaries need to be set. I don't make 'waves' but I do put my foot down when she seems to take liberties.<P>Just my opinion on the matter of step parents!!! Official or not.......... Married or not.........<P>love and hugs to you my friend, keep in touch<P>Jo xxxx<P><BR>

Jo, how are you doing? Long time since I've heard much from you. Tried to send you an e-mail recently and it came back - didn't like the old address.<P>Take care, friend.