Hi,<P>I got the strangest phone call yesterday from my XH asking me if I want the house back. Apparently it's not big enough for the new wife and she wants to buy a bigger one. <P>I told him I need to think on it. For one thing I can't get a loan for a house not now anyway so it would have to be a contract for deed. I just don't want to be indebted to him at all. <P>On the other hand I do really miss the house and so do the kids. I put alot of hard work and money into that house. I still consider it my house even though it isn't mine anymore. <P>So what do you think. Should I do it? What provisions should I put in the contract. <P>Jill

It sounds like you would love to get it back and I think maybe you should if you can afford it. Don't become dirt poor just for a house, because if your making it right now and you feel like your not indebted to your X than you have to feel pretty good. Is there anyone else who could co-sign a loan with you to get the home? <P>I'm in a little diferent spot, I'm about to be the X because my wife is having an affair. She moved out, but I want to keep the house when/if we do divorce. I know she totally can't afford it, but I can. I live in WI where everything is 50/50, so how do I keep the house? How is it that your husband ended up with it? We just bought it in March 2001 and starting this August, I'm the only person making the payments. Any ideas would help me. <P>I think I'll add one more thing, I know that I would want no part of my X hanging over my head. I wouldn't want to know that I owe her anything. But, you have kids and if the home would be better for them you have a balancing act. He might be feeling guilty that he took the house from the kids and this is his way of getting rid of some of that guilt. <P>I really don't know, but that's my opinion and I hope it helps. <P>Final Fantasy 63

FF63,<P>I live in Mn which is also a 50/50 state. Since we owed as much on the house as it was worth at the time and I couldn't afford it I gave it to him. I doubt that if you sold your house now you would make much of a profit on it so maybe your lawyer can work something out. <P>Jill

I'll also throw in, that I'm working as a deputy in a jail in MN right now, but I was an Elementary teacher for a couple years. The school that your kids will go to could be a huge diference in whether or not you go for the house. Some schools are just a whole lot better than others. Look into the two districts if they are different. If both places are in the same school district than this entry probably doesn't help much, but where are you kids good friends? What is a safer neighborhood? Are you closer to any of your friends or your job? Tons to think of, best of luck.

I live in a town of 2000. I moved exactly 1 1/2 blocks away from where I used to live. The house that EXH is looking at buying is right in between.<P>Jill

One more note. His new wife refinanced the house in her name first and got a better rate and a longer term mortgage so that the payments would be very affordable now.<P>We had got talked into a 15 year loan which brought the payments up considerably.<P>JIll

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jillybean36:<BR>I live in Mn which is also a 50/50 state. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I live in Minnesota as well, and the lawyer I talked to said that we are not a community property state like Wisconsin. I'd double check this if I were you.<P>

What's a community property state? It's amazing that we are all from the WI and MN. Yesterday a lot of my responses to my posting "8 years and now where'd my wife go" had mostly Texans respond. Great site.

As far as I know and what my Lawyer told me that Mn is a community property state. She went to great lengths to show me what the court would allow and would not allow.<P>There are exceptions to certain things such as retirement plans ect. I have a friend who divorced the same time I did and he to told me that his lawyer told him all the same things.<P>Jill

What my lawyer explained to me is that everything that you and your spouse accumulated during your marriage kind of goes into a pot and its up to you and your spouse to divide that pot equally. That means all property, bills that were in both of your names ect. If you can't come to agreements that is what you pay the lawyers the big bucks for. <P>There used to be alot of us Minnesotans here but now I'm not sure where everyone is from.<P>Maybe it's time for a new roll call.<P>Jill

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jillybean36:<BR>[B]What my lawyer explained to me is that everything that you and your spouse accumulated during your marriage kind of goes into a pot and its up to you and your spouse to divide that pot equally. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>OK, that sounds more like what I've heard about MN. What I've heard about WI is that literally <I>everything</I> is halved- even what you owned prior to the marriage- unless you have a pre-nuptual agreement. That a "community property state" and there are very few. <P>I welcome correction from any lurking lawyer.<P>

I know that I've strayed from helping you by asking questions about myself, but what do you think about this?<P>Would I be able to just pay my wife like $5,000 which would be half of the equity in a our house and split everything else? <P>One other thing about you thinking of buying the house back, is there anything wrong with it now since you left? Does it need anything fixed that you might not know of?<P>FF63

I don't know the law in Wisc but you are right. What you owned before you were married in Mn is and will always be legally yours. <P>Jill

I got the house in a pretty good deal. My X was apparently feeling guilty and wanted me to have it along with an extra $400 per month in child support so that I could afford to keep it. His comment was that he wanted his daughter to be able to come down the staircase in her prom dress. Amazing what a little guilt will do for you!<P>Texas is a community property state, but it comes down to whatever you negotiate in the decree. I definitely came out with more than 50%.<P>He is currently living in a single room above the offices in our business. Sometimes there is justice.

FF63,<P>I'm not a lawyer but I think that you could do that but I'm not sure. You might have to buy her out of the mortgage. <BR>Alot of it depends on how well you two communicate and how fast you want this done.<P>No, actually they did some remodeling this past year so I would be better off.

Jill,<P>If you and the kids want the house, I would say try to buy it if it is at all possible.<P>The OW wants a bigger house? Or is she just uncomfortable living in yours - as she should be?

Hi Nellie!<P>NO I think she just wants a bigger house with more bathrooms. The one she left to go with my H (EXH that is ) Was much bigger and brand new. I'm sure she doesn't like living in that small three bedroom house.<P>Jill